Oh, how I love my shiny new vibrator! I broke my last one, or it died a natural death. Either way, it served me well for several years. On Monday, my Owner and I bought me a new one.

I don't need a fancy vibrator with attachments and probes and bells and whistles. I just need a smooth, continuously vibrating toy that I can apply to my clit. We bought a basic one, one that will hopefully last another few years...although with the way we used it that first day, I don't hold out much hope for a long, vibrating life.

We cleaned it and put it right to use when we got home. I was already wet with anticipation. He laid between my legs and put his face up close to my cunt to watch me play. When I came, He pushed my hand back down and made sure that I came two more times right away.

I wasn't sated yet. I begged Him to fuck me as I continued to writhe with the vibrator buzzing against me. He obliged, entering me and instructing me to keep the vibrator against my clit. I held it between us where we could both feel it, and I could tell from the look in His eyes that he really enjoyed the feel of the toy as he thrust into me. I came even harder on his cock than I had before - an incandescent orgasm that felt like a total white-out of feeling below my waist. Before I could stop gasping, He came inside me with a loud moan.

I set the vibrator down on the bed next to us. "So, I think that was a good purchase," He understated. All I could do was nod in agreement :-)

Family Matters

I've been having problems with my family lately and I know that it comes from things that I'm going through in my relationship. My parents haven't changed - they are still the same over-involved parents that they have always been. If they had their way, they would continue to be super involved in my life, there would be no boundaries, and they would be the figures looming largest in my life.

I'm 29 years old, so that's probably not a healthy situation. I know that some people live geographically close to their parents and are really involved with their families in a healthy way, but that's not what it would be like for us. I see how they are with my sister, who lives in the same town. They are really involved with every part of her life, which she doesn't seem to mind. But I could never do that. I've resisted a bit in the past, but now I'm in a state of all-out rebellion because of my relationship. I'm directly challenging my parents because the most important person in my life - the person I go to when I need help or guidance and the one who is in charge of what I do - is now my Owner, not them.

I've been more vocal when they try to encroach on my turf, partly because I know that He sees them as manipulative and controlling and He has encouraged me to push back. Obviously, He has an interest in this change in me: his control is solidified as their control on me is loosened. But I don't think things are as sinister as that for Him. Instead, I think he sees (as my therapist sees) that I'm on the road toward accepting who I really am and that part of that journey involves separating from my parents. It's just causing all of this tension and I've been pulling away. There's so much about my relationship that I can't tell them anyway, but now I sense that they are truly unhappy with the way the situation has turned out.

I don't know where we go from here. I'm trying to assert my independence and eventually get to a place where I don't need their approval, but that's very difficult for me. I'm still terribly hung up on the fact that I've been seeking their approval my whole life. And when I realized this week in therapy that I'll never get it because I'll never be good enough for them, no matter what I do, it practically broke my heart. So that place where I am happy enough with who I am that I no longer need their approval, that place where I can relate to them without feeling torn apart, seems so far off from where I am right now. I hope that we can continue with our relationship in the meantime and make things better, but I see rough times ahead.


"You feel very cared for right now, don't you?," He asked. We stood in the aisle of the grocery store, semi-oblivious to the shoppers around us. He was helping me with a health issue that had come up, something that I tried (and failed) to handle on my own.

I nodded and continued to clutch his hand in both of mine. He led me toward the checkout, steering the cart with one hand and letting me cling to the other.

"Kitten, Kitten, Kitten...what am I going to do with you?," He teased gently as I nuzzled my face against his shoulder in the checkout line.

"Keep me?," I asked quietly with a smile on my face.

"Yes, I think I'll keep you," He said and pulled me closer.


From time to time, I get to thinking about this blog and its place in my life. I look at my stats and look back over my posting history. On the whole, this blog has been a positive experience. On the other hand, there have been a few hiccups along the way. I was especially hurt a few months ago by an online flurry of negativity. It really hit home and it upset me.

No more.

Now? Please. I welcome my visitors from other corners of the web. Please, feel free to poke around and read about my experiences. You might find that you can learn something. Or you might continue to judge me without any basis whatsoever. Either way, I'll keep being owned and happy, and you'll keep being...well, whatever it is that makes you so damn angry about what goes on in my bedroom.


It's the Little Things

Him: Are you taking your vitamins kitten?
Me: Sometimes, yes
Him: Kitten. Every day. Ok?
Me: Yes sir
Him: Good girl. Try hard for me ok?
Me: I will, Owner. I'm sorry
Him: It's ok Kitten. I just want you to be nice and healthy
Me: I know, thank you for looking out for me :)


I knelt on the floor with His belt around my neck. He took the length that he had been using to pull me to his cock and wrapped it around my neck again. He pulled it tight and put the end between my teeth. I gripped it there, afraid of what he was doing, afraid of how tightly he was pulling the belt around my neck. He wiped his cock on my face, mixing the saliva with the tears on my cheeks.

I trembled. Was this my punishment for last night? Was he still angry at me, and would his anger grow out of control until he pushed me harder than I was able to go? What was going to happen? This had all happened so suddenly.

I felt the red mark on my stomach where he had whipped me with the belt as I laid on the bed, before he dragged me onto the floor. I knew that I would have a mark that would last days. I knew that I deserved it, that I should take some of his anger as payment for what I had done.

But how much? Where would he take me this time?