He spun out a fantasy as He put me on my knees in front of Him and held me by the neck. That if I left - if we separated for some reason - I wouldn't last a day without Him.
"Correction, you wouldn't last half a day without me," He taunted
In his fantasy, I'd try to forget about Him. I'd fuck someone else and feel like I was high and free for a moment, but it would come crashing down soon enough. I'd be desperate to have Him back.
I didn't want Him to spin that fantasy out anymore. He was using the idea as sexual stimulation, but it just seems like a nightmare to me. I don't want to be without Him. I never want to do that inevitable dive from false euphoria to crumbling resolve to manic desperation. I know that I am unable to be without Him and I didn't want to think about it, even if it was turning Him on.
What He said was true: I would call Him and beg to see Him. He would refuse, but maybe He'd come over anyway. We'd fuck, rough, my face pushed up against the wall as He rammed me from behind. He'd hold my neck and ask me if I liked being free, if I felt good being a whore for someone else because that's what I'd become.
Kneeling before Him, I shook my head and felt the tears come to my eyes. At the same time, I could feel the wetness between my legs and that familiar pulse of lust in my cunt. He let go of my neck and smiled. "Wouldn't last a day," he said softly as He patted my cheek.
Looking for Love
Is He right? Do I need more love than the average girl? Am I unhappy unless I am completely wrapped up and absorbed in someone's love and affection?
Am I needier than I should be?
Perhaps. I remember my profound dissatisfaction with my vanilla relationships. Something was always missing, and not just the spanking. Some sort of emotional comfort and security. I have been in love before, but it was never enough. I always wanted more - more devotion, more attention, more of whatever it was that I wasn't getting.
I've been single and I consider myself independent. But when I met my Owner, I knew that He was what I had been looking for all along. His overflowing heart and boundless affection were perfect for me. He has never been afraid to express how much He loves me and I've never felt like my ardor was too much either.
So, at the end of the day, I guess it doesn't matter if I need too much love. My owner and I are giving (and getting) exactly what we need from each other. But maybe I'm not alone out there, readers? Do those submissively-inclined among you see yourselves as needing more love?
Am I needier than I should be?
Perhaps. I remember my profound dissatisfaction with my vanilla relationships. Something was always missing, and not just the spanking. Some sort of emotional comfort and security. I have been in love before, but it was never enough. I always wanted more - more devotion, more attention, more of whatever it was that I wasn't getting.
I've been single and I consider myself independent. But when I met my Owner, I knew that He was what I had been looking for all along. His overflowing heart and boundless affection were perfect for me. He has never been afraid to express how much He loves me and I've never felt like my ardor was too much either.
So, at the end of the day, I guess it doesn't matter if I need too much love. My owner and I are giving (and getting) exactly what we need from each other. But maybe I'm not alone out there, readers? Do those submissively-inclined among you see yourselves as needing more love?
Innocent
The clothespin was innocently sitting on the kitchen table. I was minding my own business. I wasn't even paying any attention to it. I was just sitting there, enjoying a glass of wine with my Owner. He noticed it, picked it up, turned it over between His fingers. He held it up where I could see it. I felt my breathing deepen and change. Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was the look in His eye, but I felt my pulse beat a little faster.
He led me over to the couch, where he stripped me of my shirt and pulled my skirt up around my waist. He pinched my right nipple between his fingers until it got hard, then He clamped on the clothespin. He watched me carefully as I squirmed, a little at first and then more as the pressure set in.
He switched to the other nipple, lamenting the fact that He only had one clothespin at hand. He went back and forth, watching, flicking the clothespin and waiting for me to cry out. Then He really started to torture me.
He clipped the clothespin to my clit. If you haven't experienced this sensation - and I hadn't before this moment - then you have no idea the intensity of the feeling. It's somewhere beyond pain, it's more like a searing white lightening bolt. And when He forced three fingers inside of me at the same time? I howled like I was being skinned alive.
I also dripped all over His fingers, down His hand, everywhere. After that, we fucked like it was the first time, or the last time. I want the clothespins again, I want Him on top of me on the floor, pumping deep into me, I want His hand on my throat and his breath hot on my ear.
I want Him and I cannot wait until next time.
He led me over to the couch, where he stripped me of my shirt and pulled my skirt up around my waist. He pinched my right nipple between his fingers until it got hard, then He clamped on the clothespin. He watched me carefully as I squirmed, a little at first and then more as the pressure set in.
He switched to the other nipple, lamenting the fact that He only had one clothespin at hand. He went back and forth, watching, flicking the clothespin and waiting for me to cry out. Then He really started to torture me.
He clipped the clothespin to my clit. If you haven't experienced this sensation - and I hadn't before this moment - then you have no idea the intensity of the feeling. It's somewhere beyond pain, it's more like a searing white lightening bolt. And when He forced three fingers inside of me at the same time? I howled like I was being skinned alive.
I also dripped all over His fingers, down His hand, everywhere. After that, we fucked like it was the first time, or the last time. I want the clothespins again, I want Him on top of me on the floor, pumping deep into me, I want His hand on my throat and his breath hot on my ear.
I want Him and I cannot wait until next time.
Comprehending
No matter how much control you think you've surrendered, there comes a time when you realize how much farther there is to go. There comes a time when something more is demanded of you and you give it, even though you didn't think it was possible.
I can't explain what happened - even if my Owner hadn't forbidden me from talking about it, I couldn't describe it. But I need only say that it shook my understanding of how powerful He is and how connected we are. It makes me wonder what either of us would be without the other, as if my whole being depends on His existence on this planet. That sounds over-dramatic, but these are dramatic times between us.
Oh, I can tell you this small part...
He made me come with his mind.
I can't explain what happened - even if my Owner hadn't forbidden me from talking about it, I couldn't describe it. But I need only say that it shook my understanding of how powerful He is and how connected we are. It makes me wonder what either of us would be without the other, as if my whole being depends on His existence on this planet. That sounds over-dramatic, but these are dramatic times between us.
Oh, I can tell you this small part...
He made me come with his mind.
About Last Night
Last night, I fucked someone other than my Owner.
I met him by the pool at the resort on my vacation. I saw him looking at me from across the lounge chairs. His eyes followed me as I walked from my seat to the pool. When I got out, I approached him. I put out my hand and invited him for a drink in my room, which was right nearby.
We didn't touch until we were alone in the room. I sat next to him on the couch and put my drink on the table. I waited for him to make a move, to realize that we weren't there to chat. He kissed me and pulled me closer. His eyes were wide as I undid my bikini top and let it fall to the floor in between us. I knelt in front of him and pulled his cock from his pants.
As we moved to the bed, he marveled at how he couldn't believe that this was happening. I smiled and straddled him on the bed. As I slid down onto him, he asked my name. "Who are you?," he wondered, "What's your name, even?" I put my finger to his lips as I fucked him slowly. "Shh," I moaned in his ear, "You ask too many questions."
He moaned loudly as I slid off of his cock and knelt over him to take him into my mouth. He moaned even more loudly when I fingered my own asshole as I sucked on him. When he came hard in my mouth, my cunt clenched tight and I came too.
He groaned softly and buried his face in my hair as we laid next to each other on the bed in the late afternoon sunlight. "Can I see you again? My friends won't believe that this happened," he said.
"Sure, maybe you should bring one along next time..."
He moaned loudly as I slid off of his cock and knelt over him to take him into my mouth. He moaned even more loudly when I fingered my own asshole as I sucked on him. When he came hard in my mouth, my cunt clenched tight and I came too.
He groaned softly and buried his face in my hair as we laid next to each other on the bed in the late afternoon sunlight. "Can I see you again? My friends won't believe that this happened," he said.
"Sure, maybe you should bring one along next time..."
*****
"So, that's how I'd do it," I told Him as we laid side-by-side in a post-orgasmic haze. "If the time is right and you give the okay, that's exactly what I'd do with him."
"You'd do it just like that?," He panted, looking at me with lust in His eyes.
"Yes, and I'll tell you all about it later," I said as we started to fuck again.
"So, that's how I'd do it," I told Him as we laid side-by-side in a post-orgasmic haze. "If the time is right and you give the okay, that's exactly what I'd do with him."
"You'd do it just like that?," He panted, looking at me with lust in His eyes.
"Yes, and I'll tell you all about it later," I said as we started to fuck again.
Skirting
I was in a giggly mood. We were cuddling on his bed. He started fumbling with the top button of my jean skirt and tickling my stomach in the process. "Get this off," He joked and He tried the button again, with no success.
"There are, like, eight more of those," I told him, pointing to the buttons that run all the way down the front of the skirt.
"Fuck that," He laughed and threw up his hands. "It's like a puzzle!" I laughed at his exasperation. He is adorable.
He laughed too and we dissolved into giggles as I undid the skirt. He pulled me close and kissed me, still laughing.
It's good to be back.
"There are, like, eight more of those," I told him, pointing to the buttons that run all the way down the front of the skirt.
"Fuck that," He laughed and threw up his hands. "It's like a puzzle!" I laughed at his exasperation. He is adorable.
He laughed too and we dissolved into giggles as I undid the skirt. He pulled me close and kissed me, still laughing.
It's good to be back.
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