I knelt before Him. He pushed me down onto all fours and held out his cock. "Here, come and get it." I opened my mouth to take him and he stepped backward. I crawled forward and opened my mouth again, only to have him step backward again. I crawled halfway across the room after him before he let me take him in my mouth. "I love to see you crawling like that, all hungry for my cock," he smiled.
He rocked his hips as I sucked on him, thrusting gently into my mouth and guiding my head. He was letting me control the speed and the tempo for the time being, and I was able to look up at him as I worked. But after a few minutes, he gripped my hair more firmly and started fucking my face more quickly.
I started to gag and pull back, but he wasn't letting me go anywhere. I scrambled from my kneeling position and back onto my ass, but he just held my head back and leaned forward until his cock was deep in my throat. I couldn't control anything at that point. My mouth was held open and he kept plunging his cock as deep as he could. I was gagging, but he wasn't letting up.
As I choked and sputtered, I tried to lean back to get away from him. He wasn't stopping, so he kept thrusting forward as I leaned back and back and back. At one point, I was lying flat on my back and he was crouched on top of me, still fucking my mouth. My arms were pinned under his legs and I could do nothing but flail my legs.
He seemed to relish my position because, between gagging and choking, I noticed that he was still smiling. My eyes were wide and I was trying to breathe, but he enjoyed every moment more than the one before. When he saw the surprised look on my face, he said slyly, "I feel like I just captured my prey and now you can't get away." I whimpered and he kept fucking my face. I could not resist. I could not do anything.
Showing posts with label choking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label choking. Show all posts
Breath
I love breath play. We've explored it from the beginning, but only recently has he really begun to choke me hard enough to make me pass out. I love that sensation, the tingling and the rush in my ears, and the floaty feeling that comes over me when he finally lets go. But He's concerned that he'll injure me, so he decided that, while a little light choking was still okay, any serious breath play would have to take place with his hand over my mouth. I reluctantly agreed. I'm self-destructive, but I suppose I'm not that self-destructive.
The other night, we were fooling around and he told me how badly he wanted to clasp his hands around my neck as I came. I smiled at him and said coyly, "I thought we didn't do that anymore." I was joking. I thought it was safe.
I heard him laugh for a moment, and then I recognized that he wasn't actually laughing. He was doing his fake laugh - the mocking one that he reserves for moments when I think I'm being funny but he is decidedly not amused. He continued his fake chuckle and then sharply hissed, "Shut the fuck up."
He put his hand on my neck, just lightly placed it there, and put his face close to mine. "We do whatever I say we do. If I want to choke the life out of you, I will. Understand, little girl?"
I nodded with a frightened look in my eyes. His expression softened and then he laughed for real. "You should see the look on your face right now." And he let me go.
The other night, we were fooling around and he told me how badly he wanted to clasp his hands around my neck as I came. I smiled at him and said coyly, "I thought we didn't do that anymore." I was joking. I thought it was safe.
I heard him laugh for a moment, and then I recognized that he wasn't actually laughing. He was doing his fake laugh - the mocking one that he reserves for moments when I think I'm being funny but he is decidedly not amused. He continued his fake chuckle and then sharply hissed, "Shut the fuck up."
He put his hand on my neck, just lightly placed it there, and put his face close to mine. "We do whatever I say we do. If I want to choke the life out of you, I will. Understand, little girl?"
I nodded with a frightened look in my eyes. His expression softened and then he laughed for real. "You should see the look on your face right now." And he let me go.
Choke, Part II
His hands were on my neck. I was laying across his bed. The overhead light was in my eyes. I couldn't look into his face without squinting.
He choked me harder. I could feel his thumb on the side of my neck. It was pushing against something vital, an artery or a nerve. I could feel the fear rising in my chest. His thumb, that singular point of pressure, was hurting me.
"Look at me. I want you to see me. I want my face to be the last thing that you see. I want you to look into my eyes as you fade to darkness."
I nodded as best I could, eyes wide with terror.
"I want to feel you fade away as I hold you."
I tried to breathe. I couldn't draw a breath past his fingers. I struggled slightly as he held me closer.
"Are you ready?"
Yes. I was ready for him to take all of this from me. I was ready for him to destroy me, finally. I was ready to close my eyes and let him.
He choked me harder. I could feel his thumb on the side of my neck. It was pushing against something vital, an artery or a nerve. I could feel the fear rising in my chest. His thumb, that singular point of pressure, was hurting me.
"Look at me. I want you to see me. I want my face to be the last thing that you see. I want you to look into my eyes as you fade to darkness."
I nodded as best I could, eyes wide with terror.
"I want to feel you fade away as I hold you."
I tried to breathe. I couldn't draw a breath past his fingers. I struggled slightly as he held me closer.
"Are you ready?"
Yes. I was ready for him to take all of this from me. I was ready for him to destroy me, finally. I was ready to close my eyes and let him.
Crawl, Part II
I knelt on the bathroom floor, naked and shaking in the darkness. I started to sob, crouching there on my hands and knees, alone. I couldn't believe how low I had sunk, how degraded I had become. Look what He had done to me, what I gave him my submission to let him do to me. How had I arrived at this place?
*****
He was choking me, holding my throat tightly as he fucked me hard.
"Tell me you love being choked while I fuck you," he demanded. I couldn't get any words out. When I hesitated, he slapped my face hard. "Tell me, now."
"I love it," I murmured. He slapped me again.
"Louder," he ordered. "Speak up when you're talking to me."
"I love it," I sobbed.
I was still sniffling when he had me suck his cock. He choked me on it again and again, making my eyes water and my nose run even more. I was having trouble breathing and needed a tissue.
"May I please get a tissue?" I knew enough by now to ask for permission.
"No, keep sucking it," and he pushed my head back down. I couldn't believe that he said no because he never had before.
After a few minutes of sucking his cock with his hand on the back of my head, he let me up to get a tissue. He let me walk there.
But when I got to the bathroom, I heard him call out to me. "Crawl back in here to me."
*****
That's how I ended up crouched on the bathroom floor, faced with the prospect of crawling back to him. I don't know what it was about crawling that seemed impossible to me at that moment. I just felt like it was too much, too degrading, too much to ask of me. We had reached a plateau in my submission some time ago and I had been fine for weeks, but suddenly we were climbing again. The climb was steep and I wasn't sure I could make it.
I knelt there, naked and cold, all alone. But what choice did I have? This was submission, there was no choice for me today. I crawled back to him and faced what I had coming to me.
*****
He was choking me, holding my throat tightly as he fucked me hard.
"Tell me you love being choked while I fuck you," he demanded. I couldn't get any words out. When I hesitated, he slapped my face hard. "Tell me, now."
"I love it," I murmured. He slapped me again.
"Louder," he ordered. "Speak up when you're talking to me."
"I love it," I sobbed.
I was still sniffling when he had me suck his cock. He choked me on it again and again, making my eyes water and my nose run even more. I was having trouble breathing and needed a tissue.
"May I please get a tissue?" I knew enough by now to ask for permission.
"No, keep sucking it," and he pushed my head back down. I couldn't believe that he said no because he never had before.
After a few minutes of sucking his cock with his hand on the back of my head, he let me up to get a tissue. He let me walk there.
But when I got to the bathroom, I heard him call out to me. "Crawl back in here to me."
*****
That's how I ended up crouched on the bathroom floor, faced with the prospect of crawling back to him. I don't know what it was about crawling that seemed impossible to me at that moment. I just felt like it was too much, too degrading, too much to ask of me. We had reached a plateau in my submission some time ago and I had been fine for weeks, but suddenly we were climbing again. The climb was steep and I wasn't sure I could make it.
I knelt there, naked and cold, all alone. But what choice did I have? This was submission, there was no choice for me today. I crawled back to him and faced what I had coming to me.
Brat
He texted me about 10 minutes before he was due to arrive and ordered me to touch my pussy, but not to come. I was rushing around, getting ready and straightening up, so I didn't do it. Before I knew it, he was walking through the door.
"Did you do what you were supposed to do?, he asked as he took some things out of his bag in the bedroom. I lingered in the doorway, uncertain of whether I should enter the room or back away from him in the interest of self-preservation.
"No, I was busy," I mumbled as I continued to dither in the doorway.
"You got busy and you didn't find time to do what I ordered," he stated. I nodded, wondering if he would be mad. I wondered if he knew that I intentionally didn't follow his order because I didn't feel like it.
"Okay, I'll let it go this one time because you were so good for me last night. But when I tell you to touch your pussy, I expect you to drop whatever you're doing and touch it, no matter how busy you are. Understand?" His voice was calm and there was no rage in his eyes. I relaxed. He wasn't going to punish me.
"And what if I don't?," I carelessly sassed.
His hand flew to my throat. "Then I'll tie you up and fuck you all day, but I won't let you come."
I knew that he would follow through on this threat, but for some reason I continued to be bratty toward him. Later, as we were getting ready for dinner, I made a comment that I knew would make him jealous. It was disrespectful and I don't know why I said it when I knew it would anger him.
"I should give you your spanking right now, just for that," he glowered, his mouth set in a straight line. "Although I think you'd like that, wouldn't you?" I stood in front of him and stared at him defiantly, silently daring him to do it. He stared down at me and pushed me backwards onto the bed. When I laid there with my legs closed, he slapped my thighs and ordered me to open them.
He put my legs up on his shoulders and entered me in one quick stroke. He pinned my arms down to the bed at my sides and leaned into me, folding me onto myself with my legs high above my head. I could feel him deep inside me as he started thrusting.
"What are you going to do about this now, you little brat?," he spat.
"I could say no," I said with insubordination in my voice. Really, what did I think I was doing? Why couldn't I just submit to him?
"But you're not going to do that, are you?" I shook my head no. "You know I'll just give it to you harder?" He started to slam into me and all I could do was wail a feeble yes as he put his whole weight onto me.
After what seemed like an eternity, he climbed off of me. I laid still on the bed where he had left me, my head hanging over the edge. He came around the bed and stood above me. He pushed his cock into my mouth from above. It pushed against the back of my throat and cut off my airway. The angle even kept me from breathing through my nose. After a couple of seconds, I started to choke but he didn't let up. I thrashed beneath him and he held my arms down so I couldn't claw at him. After another couple of seconds, he let me go.
"Did I hear you say 'more'?," he tauted me and, before I could say no, he was deep in my throat again. I pushed against him, struggling with my whole body before he let me go.
"Let's try this one more time."
As he moved over me, my defiance broke. "No, no more, please no more," I pleaded. He ignored me and pushed deep in my throat again. He covered my entire face and I completely panicked below him, struggling and moaning into him. After one last deep push down my throat, he let up.
He laid back on the bed and motioned for me to kneel between his legs. He held his cock out to me and I began sucking it slowly. He smoothed down my hair and let me catch my breath.
I paused. "I'm sorry," I said quietly, looking down.
"What are you sorry for, Kitten?"
I shrugged, unable to articulate anything at the moment because I was so shaken. He put his hand under my chin to force me to look him in the eyes. "Let me ask you - what do you feel when I do that to you? There's no wrong answer."
I hesitated. "It depends," I answered.
"Depends on what?"
"On how I'm feeling. Sometimes I'm calm."
"And the other times?"
"I hate it." I hate you, I was thinking. I hate that you beat me down and humiliate me.
"Even when you hate it, do you want me to stop?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because if you stopped because I couldn't take any more, I'd be disappointed in myself."
"It's not always easy, is it?" I shook my head. "Sometimes it's easy and you feel like you can take everything I give you. Other times, it's hard and you're so overwhelmed. You're not sure if you can take it. But that is the way it is supposed to be. What if it was always easy?"
"It wouldn't be worth it."
"That's right. Your submission won't always be easy, but that's what makes it so valuable to me. I challenge you because I know that you need it and I know that you want to work through this with me. If this was always easy, you'd always feel like something was missing. You'd seek more dominance and more pain.
"I'm training you to take more for me and that means sometimes it will be difficult. But I know it will be so worthwhile for you. I want you to know that I am so proud of how far you've come. You're such a good girl for me and I'm so proud of everything that you've learned. When you went into the bathroom and did what you did for me, you were such a good girl. You've come so far. I don't ever want you to be disappointed in yourself. You always try so hard, even when it's too much to take. And that is what I crave from you - that you'll give me everything."
I was nodding at all of this, fighting back tears and occasionally trying to look away. But he held my face and looked me right in the eyes. There was no escaping his intensity or his stare. My insubordination was gone. I was compliant and safe within my submission. I didn't resent him or begrudge him anything he wanted to take at that point.
"Thank you so much."
"You're welcome. Now I want you to make me come in your mouth."
"Did you do what you were supposed to do?, he asked as he took some things out of his bag in the bedroom. I lingered in the doorway, uncertain of whether I should enter the room or back away from him in the interest of self-preservation.
"No, I was busy," I mumbled as I continued to dither in the doorway.
"You got busy and you didn't find time to do what I ordered," he stated. I nodded, wondering if he would be mad. I wondered if he knew that I intentionally didn't follow his order because I didn't feel like it.
"Okay, I'll let it go this one time because you were so good for me last night. But when I tell you to touch your pussy, I expect you to drop whatever you're doing and touch it, no matter how busy you are. Understand?" His voice was calm and there was no rage in his eyes. I relaxed. He wasn't going to punish me.
"And what if I don't?," I carelessly sassed.
His hand flew to my throat. "Then I'll tie you up and fuck you all day, but I won't let you come."
I knew that he would follow through on this threat, but for some reason I continued to be bratty toward him. Later, as we were getting ready for dinner, I made a comment that I knew would make him jealous. It was disrespectful and I don't know why I said it when I knew it would anger him.
"I should give you your spanking right now, just for that," he glowered, his mouth set in a straight line. "Although I think you'd like that, wouldn't you?" I stood in front of him and stared at him defiantly, silently daring him to do it. He stared down at me and pushed me backwards onto the bed. When I laid there with my legs closed, he slapped my thighs and ordered me to open them.
He put my legs up on his shoulders and entered me in one quick stroke. He pinned my arms down to the bed at my sides and leaned into me, folding me onto myself with my legs high above my head. I could feel him deep inside me as he started thrusting.
"What are you going to do about this now, you little brat?," he spat.
"I could say no," I said with insubordination in my voice. Really, what did I think I was doing? Why couldn't I just submit to him?
"But you're not going to do that, are you?" I shook my head no. "You know I'll just give it to you harder?" He started to slam into me and all I could do was wail a feeble yes as he put his whole weight onto me.
After what seemed like an eternity, he climbed off of me. I laid still on the bed where he had left me, my head hanging over the edge. He came around the bed and stood above me. He pushed his cock into my mouth from above. It pushed against the back of my throat and cut off my airway. The angle even kept me from breathing through my nose. After a couple of seconds, I started to choke but he didn't let up. I thrashed beneath him and he held my arms down so I couldn't claw at him. After another couple of seconds, he let me go.
"Did I hear you say 'more'?," he tauted me and, before I could say no, he was deep in my throat again. I pushed against him, struggling with my whole body before he let me go.
"Let's try this one more time."
As he moved over me, my defiance broke. "No, no more, please no more," I pleaded. He ignored me and pushed deep in my throat again. He covered my entire face and I completely panicked below him, struggling and moaning into him. After one last deep push down my throat, he let up.
He laid back on the bed and motioned for me to kneel between his legs. He held his cock out to me and I began sucking it slowly. He smoothed down my hair and let me catch my breath.
I paused. "I'm sorry," I said quietly, looking down.
"What are you sorry for, Kitten?"
I shrugged, unable to articulate anything at the moment because I was so shaken. He put his hand under my chin to force me to look him in the eyes. "Let me ask you - what do you feel when I do that to you? There's no wrong answer."
I hesitated. "It depends," I answered.
"Depends on what?"
"On how I'm feeling. Sometimes I'm calm."
"And the other times?"
"I hate it." I hate you, I was thinking. I hate that you beat me down and humiliate me.
"Even when you hate it, do you want me to stop?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because if you stopped because I couldn't take any more, I'd be disappointed in myself."
"It's not always easy, is it?" I shook my head. "Sometimes it's easy and you feel like you can take everything I give you. Other times, it's hard and you're so overwhelmed. You're not sure if you can take it. But that is the way it is supposed to be. What if it was always easy?"
"It wouldn't be worth it."
"That's right. Your submission won't always be easy, but that's what makes it so valuable to me. I challenge you because I know that you need it and I know that you want to work through this with me. If this was always easy, you'd always feel like something was missing. You'd seek more dominance and more pain.
"I'm training you to take more for me and that means sometimes it will be difficult. But I know it will be so worthwhile for you. I want you to know that I am so proud of how far you've come. You're such a good girl for me and I'm so proud of everything that you've learned. When you went into the bathroom and did what you did for me, you were such a good girl. You've come so far. I don't ever want you to be disappointed in yourself. You always try so hard, even when it's too much to take. And that is what I crave from you - that you'll give me everything."
I was nodding at all of this, fighting back tears and occasionally trying to look away. But he held my face and looked me right in the eyes. There was no escaping his intensity or his stare. My insubordination was gone. I was compliant and safe within my submission. I didn't resent him or begrudge him anything he wanted to take at that point.
"Thank you so much."
"You're welcome. Now I want you to make me come in your mouth."
Punishment
"What if I told you that I have been writing a blog about us?," I asked shyly as I lay next to him.
"Have you been?," he asked evenly. "For how long?"
"Maybe...for a couple of weeks," I admitted. He took my hand and put it on his cock, which was growing harder. I thought he was trying to tell me that the writing turned him on.
"Do you write about how much you love this cock?," he inquired.
"Yes."
"About how much you love to suck it, how hungry you are for it?" He pushed my head down on it and I nodded yes.
"About how I give you exactly what you need?" I nodded and moaned onto his cock. He gathered my long hair into his hands to direct my head up and down his shaft. Suddenly, he yanked my head up by the hair so he could look me in the eyes. He slapped me hard across the face.
"Why didn't you tell me you were doing that?," he yelled, smacking me again and again before I could respond. "Why didn't you tell me?" He shook me and I stammered, "I don't know."
He pushed my head down violently on his cock and held me there until I gagged, then he pulled my head back up by the hair so he could look me in the eyes.
"You don't keep secrets from me, do you understand that?," he demanded, shaking my head by his grip on my hair.
"Yes," I wailed. I was miserable. I had disappointed him and now he was angry. I started sobbing.
"You should have told me," and he smacked me again. I was sobbing, trying to look away, but he held my head in place. "You should have told me." He watched me, let me sob pathetically. All I could do was say "I'm sorry" over and over again. But I don't think he cared if I was sorry, or if I had an explanation.
"Once you stop crying, put my cock back in your mouth." I calmed down and he pushed my head back down.
After a moment, he dragged me by my hair to the place on the bed next to him. He leaned over me and put his hand on my neck, holding my face up so that I could only see him out of the corner of my eye. He put his face right up to the side of my mine and growled in my ear, "You don't keep secrets from me, Kitten. I guess you haven't learned that lesson yet, have you?" He tightened his grip on my neck so I couldn't respond or nod my head. He wasn't waiting for me to answer him, anyway. He was telling me and I would have to learn.
"I think you forgot your place, didn't you? I think I have to train you to be a better girl for me." Harder, he choked me so that I was bucking underneath his hand, trying to breathe. He was getting angrier and angrier. There was no placating him, I just had to take what he was giving me as punishment. All my apologies were worthless. I just had to wait for it to be over.
My upper body was up off the bed as I tried to get out from under his grip and he twisted his hand to keep his hold on me. "Don't you forget who owns you. Don't you EVER forget that I own you." He bit me hard on my upper arm again and again, then finally threw me down.
He knelt over me, pinning me down, and stroked his cock fast. "You're mine, Kitten. Don't you ever forget that." I started sobbing again, overwhelmed by his anger and his power. I felt like a stupid child for disobeying him. As the tears coursed down my cheeks, he came. He came all over my chest and my stomach. I arched my back to feel his cum wash over me, wash away all that I had done wrong.
"Have you been?," he asked evenly. "For how long?"
"Maybe...for a couple of weeks," I admitted. He took my hand and put it on his cock, which was growing harder. I thought he was trying to tell me that the writing turned him on.
"Do you write about how much you love this cock?," he inquired.
"Yes."
"About how much you love to suck it, how hungry you are for it?" He pushed my head down on it and I nodded yes.
"About how I give you exactly what you need?" I nodded and moaned onto his cock. He gathered my long hair into his hands to direct my head up and down his shaft. Suddenly, he yanked my head up by the hair so he could look me in the eyes. He slapped me hard across the face.
"Why didn't you tell me you were doing that?," he yelled, smacking me again and again before I could respond. "Why didn't you tell me?" He shook me and I stammered, "I don't know."
He pushed my head down violently on his cock and held me there until I gagged, then he pulled my head back up by the hair so he could look me in the eyes.
"You don't keep secrets from me, do you understand that?," he demanded, shaking my head by his grip on my hair.
"Yes," I wailed. I was miserable. I had disappointed him and now he was angry. I started sobbing.
"You should have told me," and he smacked me again. I was sobbing, trying to look away, but he held my head in place. "You should have told me." He watched me, let me sob pathetically. All I could do was say "I'm sorry" over and over again. But I don't think he cared if I was sorry, or if I had an explanation.
"Once you stop crying, put my cock back in your mouth." I calmed down and he pushed my head back down.
After a moment, he dragged me by my hair to the place on the bed next to him. He leaned over me and put his hand on my neck, holding my face up so that I could only see him out of the corner of my eye. He put his face right up to the side of my mine and growled in my ear, "You don't keep secrets from me, Kitten. I guess you haven't learned that lesson yet, have you?" He tightened his grip on my neck so I couldn't respond or nod my head. He wasn't waiting for me to answer him, anyway. He was telling me and I would have to learn.
"I think you forgot your place, didn't you? I think I have to train you to be a better girl for me." Harder, he choked me so that I was bucking underneath his hand, trying to breathe. He was getting angrier and angrier. There was no placating him, I just had to take what he was giving me as punishment. All my apologies were worthless. I just had to wait for it to be over.
My upper body was up off the bed as I tried to get out from under his grip and he twisted his hand to keep his hold on me. "Don't you forget who owns you. Don't you EVER forget that I own you." He bit me hard on my upper arm again and again, then finally threw me down.
He knelt over me, pinning me down, and stroked his cock fast. "You're mine, Kitten. Don't you ever forget that." I started sobbing again, overwhelmed by his anger and his power. I felt like a stupid child for disobeying him. As the tears coursed down my cheeks, he came. He came all over my chest and my stomach. I arched my back to feel his cum wash over me, wash away all that I had done wrong.
Choke
Things with Him escalated very quickly once we started. We didn't sit around for weeks making lists of won'ts or talking about limits. He just started taking things from me that I never knew that I wanted to give up. He just did. Anything that I was uncomfortable with became part of my submission - how deep would I go to please him? How far down the rabbit hole?
He was over me, fucking me deep with my legs around his waist, glowering down and me and telling me to take his cock, all of it. Occasionally, he'd roll me onto my side and continue fucking me with one of my legs thrown over his hip, then he'd force me back onto my back. At one point, he rolled me onto my side again and held my face at arm's length, turning it from side to side. He considered it, murmuring, "What a good little slut you are for me, Kitten."
He slid his hand down to my neck. His large hand covered the entire front of my neck from my chin to my collarbone. I felt him tighten his grip as he fucked me harder. His eyes were burning black, burning into me as my eyes widened in fear. Tighter, he held me tighter by the neck and I put my hands up to his, gripping them.
I wasn't choking, exactly - I could still breathe if I could stop freaking out - but the pressure of his hand was scaring me. He could hurt me, really hurt me, so easily. He could kill me. How long had I known him, really? Did anyone know where I was that day in case I went missing? That rage in his eyes - what had I done to make him so angry? How far would he go to punish me? I starting clawing at his hand around my throat, desperate now like a wild animal trying to escape a predator.
And then I realized - trust him. Trust that he can take you to the edge and keep you from falling over. Trust that he has hurt you many times before but always returned you safe to your bed. Trust his eyes that, now I think about it, just look excited, not murderous.
So I let go. My whole body went limp as I relaxed every muscle that had been tensed against him a moment before. And as quickly as I stopped fighting him, his hand loosened against my neck. He smoothed back my hair and kissed me. Could he sense the power of my submission at that moment? That I had put my life in his hands and come out unscathed on the other side. That I trust him to take me anywhere, anywhere.
He was over me, fucking me deep with my legs around his waist, glowering down and me and telling me to take his cock, all of it. Occasionally, he'd roll me onto my side and continue fucking me with one of my legs thrown over his hip, then he'd force me back onto my back. At one point, he rolled me onto my side again and held my face at arm's length, turning it from side to side. He considered it, murmuring, "What a good little slut you are for me, Kitten."
He slid his hand down to my neck. His large hand covered the entire front of my neck from my chin to my collarbone. I felt him tighten his grip as he fucked me harder. His eyes were burning black, burning into me as my eyes widened in fear. Tighter, he held me tighter by the neck and I put my hands up to his, gripping them.
I wasn't choking, exactly - I could still breathe if I could stop freaking out - but the pressure of his hand was scaring me. He could hurt me, really hurt me, so easily. He could kill me. How long had I known him, really? Did anyone know where I was that day in case I went missing? That rage in his eyes - what had I done to make him so angry? How far would he go to punish me? I starting clawing at his hand around my throat, desperate now like a wild animal trying to escape a predator.
And then I realized - trust him. Trust that he can take you to the edge and keep you from falling over. Trust that he has hurt you many times before but always returned you safe to your bed. Trust his eyes that, now I think about it, just look excited, not murderous.
So I let go. My whole body went limp as I relaxed every muscle that had been tensed against him a moment before. And as quickly as I stopped fighting him, his hand loosened against my neck. He smoothed back my hair and kissed me. Could he sense the power of my submission at that moment? That I had put my life in his hands and come out unscathed on the other side. That I trust him to take me anywhere, anywhere.
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