His hands were on my neck. I was laying across his bed. The overhead light was in my eyes. I couldn't look into his face without squinting.
He choked me harder. I could feel his thumb on the side of my neck. It was pushing against something vital, an artery or a nerve. I could feel the fear rising in my chest. His thumb, that singular point of pressure, was hurting me.
"Look at me. I want you to see me. I want my face to be the last thing that you see. I want you to look into my eyes as you fade to darkness."
I nodded as best I could, eyes wide with terror.
"I want to feel you fade away as I hold you."
I tried to breathe. I couldn't draw a breath past his fingers. I struggled slightly as he held me closer.
"Are you ready?"
Yes. I was ready for him to take all of this from me. I was ready for him to destroy me, finally. I was ready to close my eyes and let him.
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Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.
- Rilke
D/s, from the inside.
This blog contains mature subject matter. Adults only, please.
I always appreciate your comments and e-mails. Thanks for reading!
I always appreciate your comments and e-mails. Thanks for reading!
About Me
- Kitten
- I am a submissive girl who loves to be dominated by her very devious, and sometimes gentle, man.
Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.
- Rilke
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2 comments:
why are ppl destructive - self or otherwise... what's with this button that we all have naturally? i'm just wondering... cos i have it too and i don't understand it...
anon: I'm at a loss here too. I don't understand it, and not for lack of trying. I've been pondering this (and rewriting posts about destruction) for months, to no avail.
Maybe I'll be able to work it out one day. If you get there first, let me know.
Kitten
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