Myself

I only ever wanted a place to be myself.  All of this is so hidden and I didn't want to continue behaving as if I felt ashamed about it.  I wanted to air out some of this, give it room to breathe and let the light of day burn away all of irrelevancies.  In more than a year of posting, I have shared many things, even things that I knew would not be welcome for some.    

It took so much for me to get here, 29 years of reflection and self-discovery.  I never knew that I would end up here, but I am happier for it.  I am happy every day, even when a post does not reflect that.  Maybe I wrote because I was working through something that had actually happened, or maybe I was spinning out ideas that were only based on fantasy.  Maybe I had already resolved  to make a change by the time you read my words, maybe I did change, or maybe He backtracked and things leveled off before I could even process it.  I come to this from all angles.  I only wanted to allow myself to think.

I write for myself and for you.  I give you maybe 1/16 of myself, if that.  I keep so much of myself back, but I do want you to understand.  There are many of you that never will.  And to you, I would simply ask you to move on.  There is the whole wide internet out there.  Find your people and be with them, and leave me with my thoughts.