She laid on her stomach with her arms folded along the small of her back and her feet in the air. I helped her Master fasten the cuffs to hogtie her. I slid a small pillow under her head and knelt on the bed beside her as he slid the dildo into her cunt.
I stroked her back and watched her hips start to move against his hand. My eyes were on her, but my mind was floating away, spinning out all of the possibilities. I snapped back to attention when her Master called my name, telling me to take his place.
He put the dildo in my hand and I stared down at it. My Owner came up behind me and guided my hand toward her cunt. I slid the dildo in slowly and heard her sigh. I started fucking her, building up to a good rhythm along with her hips. "Fuck her like a man, Kitten," her Master ordered from his place beside her. My Owner stood behind me, whispering small words of encouragement.
I fucked her harder and watched her writhe on the bed in front of me. My mouth was hanging open in awe and disbelief. Was I really doing this?
I could feel her wetness dripping out of her, and she started begging to be allowed to come. The moment her Master said yes, she suddenly she seized upon the dildo and cried out. I could feel her coming as I fucked her harder, my Owner's hand resting gently on the back of my neck.
The Room
She pulled my hand toward her and pressed it against her breastbone. I tilted my forehead toward hers and smiled shyly.
We were curled together in the middle of the big hotel room bed. Candles flickered all around us. It was late - what time was it again? I had lost track - and we were breathing together quietly. I was nearly naked, but I didn't notice.
"I know you're nervous," she whispered, "but you could kiss me sometime before it's time to go." She giggled and bit her lip. I laughed with her, propping my head up on my elbow. I brushed the hair back from her forehead. "Come here, you," I sighed, and I touched my lips to hers.
They were so soft, they made me melt. I remembered suddenly why I love women so much. (And the beautiful thing about them is that their soft lips are just the beginning.)
We kissed deeper and deeper, winding our hands in each others' hair. When our lips parted, we laid back against the pillows, touching hands.
"Do you think they're watching us?," I whispered.
"Definitely, but I'm not going to look," she laughed.
"What are you girls talking about over there?," He called playfully from his seat on the other side of the room.
"Girl talk?," her Master asked and the two men laughed.
We looked up and laughed as they came over to us. We kissed again.
We were curled together in the middle of the big hotel room bed. Candles flickered all around us. It was late - what time was it again? I had lost track - and we were breathing together quietly. I was nearly naked, but I didn't notice.
"I know you're nervous," she whispered, "but you could kiss me sometime before it's time to go." She giggled and bit her lip. I laughed with her, propping my head up on my elbow. I brushed the hair back from her forehead. "Come here, you," I sighed, and I touched my lips to hers.
They were so soft, they made me melt. I remembered suddenly why I love women so much. (And the beautiful thing about them is that their soft lips are just the beginning.)
We kissed deeper and deeper, winding our hands in each others' hair. When our lips parted, we laid back against the pillows, touching hands.
"Do you think they're watching us?," I whispered.
"Definitely, but I'm not going to look," she laughed.
"What are you girls talking about over there?," He called playfully from his seat on the other side of the room.
"Girl talk?," her Master asked and the two men laughed.
We looked up and laughed as they came over to us. We kissed again.
This and That
It would be one thing if He just made me do what I do not want to do by force. If I could just be unhappy about it and get over it in my own time, or maybe resent him for it. Blame him and pretend like I don't want this life where he has complete control over me. That would be an easy way to be the victim here and escape the darkness of my own choices. If he forced me, that would be one thing.
But that's not how it works. He makes me do things, but he wants me to like it. He explains and reasons with me so that I understand. And he does not let me pout about it, or drag my feet while I serve. I have to accept it, I have to smile and I have to be happy. I cannot fake that. I must process my resistance quickly and I must choose this life, over and over again. I must say, "Yes, Sir" and I must sound like I mean it.
It must be strange, and strangely powerful, to be Him. To expect to get his way all the time and to expect me to always be happy about it. If he were any other man, I'd say that the least he could do would be to let me be upset, but he's not any other man. Because he is this man, he gets everything he wants, eventually.
But that's not how it works. He makes me do things, but he wants me to like it. He explains and reasons with me so that I understand. And he does not let me pout about it, or drag my feet while I serve. I have to accept it, I have to smile and I have to be happy. I cannot fake that. I must process my resistance quickly and I must choose this life, over and over again. I must say, "Yes, Sir" and I must sound like I mean it.
It must be strange, and strangely powerful, to be Him. To expect to get his way all the time and to expect me to always be happy about it. If he were any other man, I'd say that the least he could do would be to let me be upset, but he's not any other man. Because he is this man, he gets everything he wants, eventually.
Disparity
We have these funny little moments. Like where He makes a joke at my expense and I laugh, then I make a joke at his expense and am met with stony silence. Because it is not funny when I do it. And the difference is that one of us is the Owner and the other one of us is owned. And we are different.
That's cute, when he pulls up and reminds me that we are not equal, even where innocuous banter is concerned. I fake-sigh like I am put out, but I am not put out. It doesn't feel like a big deal. And I want Him to be over me or I wouldn't have chosen this life.
But there are other times when the disparity between us seems like a very big deal. When I cannot do something that He can do just because He says so...that is very difficult, especially if it affects something major in my life or requires a big shift in my behavior. It may mean that I have to take what I would never be allowed to dish out. It may mean that I am not heard when I have something to say. It may mean that I do not get to decide things for myself. It often means that. It's these moments when I am not comforted in my submission and I struggle to locate the strength that I am supposed to find here.
I read something today that said that sometimes freedom is more important than happiness. That made me pause. I give up my freedom every day and sometimes it feels like what remaining freedoms I may have are being wrung out of me. I choose enslavement because it brings me happiness. Would I be better off, if unhappy, if I were free? I can't see how being deliberately unhappy on my own would be beneficial, but I haven't lived a free life in quite a while. Maybe I have lost touch with what that would feel like. I can imagine it and it seems a very hollow way to live.
But anyway. I know that this is my choice and I choose to stay every day. Some days it is just a little more difficult than others.
That's cute, when he pulls up and reminds me that we are not equal, even where innocuous banter is concerned. I fake-sigh like I am put out, but I am not put out. It doesn't feel like a big deal. And I want Him to be over me or I wouldn't have chosen this life.
But there are other times when the disparity between us seems like a very big deal. When I cannot do something that He can do just because He says so...that is very difficult, especially if it affects something major in my life or requires a big shift in my behavior. It may mean that I have to take what I would never be allowed to dish out. It may mean that I am not heard when I have something to say. It may mean that I do not get to decide things for myself. It often means that. It's these moments when I am not comforted in my submission and I struggle to locate the strength that I am supposed to find here.
I read something today that said that sometimes freedom is more important than happiness. That made me pause. I give up my freedom every day and sometimes it feels like what remaining freedoms I may have are being wrung out of me. I choose enslavement because it brings me happiness. Would I be better off, if unhappy, if I were free? I can't see how being deliberately unhappy on my own would be beneficial, but I haven't lived a free life in quite a while. Maybe I have lost touch with what that would feel like. I can imagine it and it seems a very hollow way to live.
But anyway. I know that this is my choice and I choose to stay every day. Some days it is just a little more difficult than others.
The Other
I sit on his lap facing away from him, my legs spread wide and my feet planted outside his. I am only wearing a pair of panties and I can feel his chest against my naked back. He slides his hand into my panties and slowly teases my clit with his fingers as his other hand reaches to pinch my nipples. I arch back against him and he slides his fingers inside me.
"Put your fingers in her mouth," my Owner says from his seat across the room. The man brings his fingers, wet from my cunt, up to my lips and I lick them hungrily. I keep my eyes on my Owner the whole time.
I turn away from my Owner, toward the man and face him on his lap. He pulls my panties aside as he enters me. I can hear my Owner stroking his cock and moaning softly. The man puts his hands under my ass cheeks and guides me slowly up and down on his cock.
I turn back to look at my Owner, a smile on my lips. "Such a good girl," He moans, "Such a good girl for me."
Disclaimer: This is just a fantasy. But a girl can dream, can't she?
"Put your fingers in her mouth," my Owner says from his seat across the room. The man brings his fingers, wet from my cunt, up to my lips and I lick them hungrily. I keep my eyes on my Owner the whole time.
I turn away from my Owner, toward the man and face him on his lap. He pulls my panties aside as he enters me. I can hear my Owner stroking his cock and moaning softly. The man puts his hands under my ass cheeks and guides me slowly up and down on his cock.
I turn back to look at my Owner, a smile on my lips. "Such a good girl," He moans, "Such a good girl for me."
Disclaimer: This is just a fantasy. But a girl can dream, can't she?
Readership
After what happened a couple of weeks ago and all of the negative attention I received for this bog, my Owner sought out the blog and read it for the first time. He didn't read the whole thing - that would take forever! - but he did read enough to get a sense of what goes on here. He wants to make sure that I am doing okay. He is always looking out for me.
He's not reading everyday, just checking in from time to time. (Hi Owner! I love you!). I'm glad that he's keeping an eye on me. I thought that I would be upset that my last private space is now His n but I'm not. I'm happy to share this him and give him a little insight into my thoughts. I'm feeling comfortable in my submission and welcome this extra bit of control. And I know that he doesn't want to interfere here, nor does he want this blog to devolve into a tool for airing our grievances at each other. Our communication needs to stay open and genuine and it needs to stay out of the public eye.
I'm hoping that once he becomes comfortable with the blog, he will consider contributing something from his perspective. I know that he sees some of what we do in a radically different way than I do and I'd love to explore that with you all. Plus he's really hot and effortlessly creative in his dominance. Where does he get his devious ideas like his idea for Silent Kitten day (a whole day of no talking and completely silent submission for me)? Inquiring minds want to know!
So watch this space...I know He is!
He's not reading everyday, just checking in from time to time. (Hi Owner! I love you!). I'm glad that he's keeping an eye on me. I thought that I would be upset that my last private space is now His n but I'm not. I'm happy to share this him and give him a little insight into my thoughts. I'm feeling comfortable in my submission and welcome this extra bit of control. And I know that he doesn't want to interfere here, nor does he want this blog to devolve into a tool for airing our grievances at each other. Our communication needs to stay open and genuine and it needs to stay out of the public eye.
I'm hoping that once he becomes comfortable with the blog, he will consider contributing something from his perspective. I know that he sees some of what we do in a radically different way than I do and I'd love to explore that with you all. Plus he's really hot and effortlessly creative in his dominance. Where does he get his devious ideas like his idea for Silent Kitten day (a whole day of no talking and completely silent submission for me)? Inquiring minds want to know!
So watch this space...I know He is!
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