It was difficult for me to admit defeat, but I really was at a loss as to what to do. I don't know how to approach women and I really wasn't having any success. By giving the task up to Him, he asked that I trust him and place the responsibility totally in his hands.
I had a bit of difficulty with that, though, as it turned out. I wanted to be involved and he promised that I would be, but I just couldn't catch my balance. I didn't want to control the situation and exercise this massive supervisory veto power over every step he took, but I was also fearful of what could happen without my knowledge. Additionally, I didn't want him to communicate a different goal to whoever he talked to. I have a very specific feeling about what I want us to get out of this experience and what I am looking to avoid, but I couldn't let go and trust him to find the right person.
He talked to several people online, including one very lovely girl who we both liked but the situation just didn't come to fruition. I involved myself in the communications with her and I hope that I didn't scare her away, but I just don't know how to be in this circumstance.
Obviously, this has been anxiety-producing for me. Just the other night, I had a nightmare that I found pictures of Him with another submissive on her MySpace page. Of course it was just a dream and that dream girl (with the huge boobs!) is not real, but it has been on my mind. So I'm not hesitant to tell you that I'm a bit relieved that the effort has stalled as of late. He and I are still on the look-out for the right person, but I think it's going to result from meeting people in our community and getting to know them rather than a forced search for someone.
I'm hopeful to find the right person who will share not only one passionate night with us, but who can also share a part of our lives for a time. I'm not discouraged because I know that my patience will be rewarded. In the meantime, I am working on trusting him and building our relationship. The stronger and more grounded we are, the better an experience this will be in the long run.
Anon, thanks for your questions. Anyone else have anything that they need answered? ;-)