We were lounging in bed together on Sunday morning, indulging in a little mutual masturbation and talking about a favorite fantasy of ours - sharing S. It really is such a shame that she is in a relationship with a vanilla man and has no idea what things with us would be like. Really, all we can do is fantasize as I doubt her situation will change anytime soon.
But we talked about her nonetheless. I asked Him during a pause in the conversation, "If S. came to play with us, do you think she could stay?"
He hesitated. "Would you like that?," he asked guardedly.
I thought for a moment. I wasn't sure. I'm not poly, at least I don't think I am at this point, but sharing ourselves completely with her, loving her and welcoming her into our lives, seemed so right at the moment. I shrugged.
"Kitten, I have an assignment for you." I looked up at him. He doesn't usually give me assignments. "I want you to find a girl for us."
Now it was my turn to hesitate. "One to stay?," I asked nervously.
"No, just one to play with us. I want to see you with her. I want you to do that for me."
Immediately, I was full of questions and anxiety. How would I find her, where should I even start to look? Oh god, would I have to resort to those terrifying BDSM personals? People would judge my pictures and the rejection...
He didn't want to take my questions. "Find a way, Kitten. That's all I'm going to say. Be a good girl for me and find her."
So here I am. Please, please help me! Have any of you gone through this? How did you find your girl? Or do you know of anyone who would be interested? Or would you be interested?
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Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.
- Rilke
D/s, from the inside.
This blog contains mature subject matter. Adults only, please.
I always appreciate your comments and e-mails. Thanks for reading!
I always appreciate your comments and e-mails. Thanks for reading!
About Me
- Kitten
- I am a submissive girl who loves to be dominated by her very devious, and sometimes gentle, man.
Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.
- Rilke
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7 comments:
I'm going through that now. Daddy and I have been trying to find a third to play with us. It's a challenge for me because I've always either been the one pursued or the person with me is the one who looks.
The easiest and best thing is to find someone that you trust, that you like, that you know and that understands the full scope of your situation, your expectations and what everything will entail. The key to getting through the anxiety is to remember that you love and trust your partner/Owner/Daddy/Dom and he wouldn't ask you to do something that would risk your relationship or safety.
The worst part is the actual finding, not because it's nervewrecking (and it isn't, btw...it probably will be for you because you're nervous to begin with, but you'll quickly get over that) but because it can be tedious.
When you find the right person to be your third, it's actually pretty fucking cool :). Be confident in yourself and in your ability to please and obey your Dom and you will not only enjoy the experience but you will be happy to know what a good little kitten you have been.
I hope this helps. Daddy and I have been looking for a while. Good luck my dear!
Thanks for all of your advice. I'd probably be okay if we were just a vanilla couple looking for a third because I really trust Him, but since this situation involves exposing some of my kink to the third I'm a bit on edge. So it's more about me than it is about worrying about anything else.
Also, I'm starting to think that finding a cute, kinky, single bisexual girl and finding a person who isn't going to bring drama into my relationship may be mutually exclusive endeavors.
But I will soldier on because I am a good kitten! I will just have to be patient and see what comes of it.
Best,
Kitten
Seek here : - http://fetlife.com/
Skb
Anon: Yes, I recently created a Fetlife profile for this very purpose. Thank you for the suggestion :-)
Best,
Kitten
kitten,
someone i belonged to gave me the same instruction once. it ended our relationship. not right away, mind you, but over time.
it ended because i couldn't do it. and i couldn't do it for a number of reasons:
1. i'm not bi and don't have a clue about how to find/pick up women
2. i felt a bit like a pimp
3. he was asking me to find, then present someone to him like a pheasant under glass. but a person isn't like that. and i struggled with what would happen if she didn't like him, or he didn't like her, and there we were, in awkwardland...all my fault.
4. i didn't want to be responsible for this, especially because of whatever health and other dangers might be associated with having someone like this with us.
the whole thing felt absolutely unfair, and after a bit, sadistic on the one hand, and abusive on the other.
for me, part of the fundamental unfairness about it dealt with the fact that he abdicated any involvement and made me 100% responsible for this.
it was, in the end, a bad call on his part. especially when, struggling to make it happen, i asked for his help and he brushed my questions aside.
i'm not suggesting that what's happening in your relationship is wrong--for you. it just was absolutely wrong for me.
good luck with the assignment. i hope you'll post more about the journey!
--haven
haven: Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It means a lot to me.
While I admit that I'm not totally enthusiastic about this assignment, I think my situation may be different in two ways. First, I am bisexual and really want to have this experience with Him and another woman. We have discussed this for a looong time, so I am completely on board in that sense. Second, He is being a little more hands-on about the process. He has already told me to check back with him in a bit to see if I have found anyone. If I haven't had any luck, he will help me out.
Anyway, I hope that it works out and is a strengthening experience for my relationship.
Thank you again for your comments. I am off to read your blog (which I don't think I've read before)!
Best,
-Kitten
Update us! :) It's been a few months since this was posted... did you find anyone?
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