Choke, Part II

His hands were on my neck. I was laying across his bed. The overhead light was in my eyes. I couldn't look into his face without squinting.

He choked me harder. I could feel his thumb on the side of my neck. It was pushing against something vital, an artery or a nerve. I could feel the fear rising in my chest. His thumb, that singular point of pressure, was hurting me.

"Look at me. I want you to see me. I want my face to be the last thing that you see. I want you to look into my eyes as you fade to darkness."

I nodded as best I could, eyes wide with terror.

"I want to feel you fade away as I hold you."

I tried to breathe. I couldn't draw a breath past his fingers. I struggled slightly as he held me closer.

"Are you ready?"

Yes. I was ready for him to take all of this from me. I was ready for him to destroy me, finally. I was ready to close my eyes and let him.


Anonymous said...

why are ppl destructive - self or otherwise... what's with this button that we all have naturally? i'm just wondering... cos i have it too and i don't understand it...

Kitten said...

anon: I'm at a loss here too. I don't understand it, and not for lack of trying. I've been pondering this (and rewriting posts about destruction) for months, to no avail.

Maybe I'll be able to work it out one day. If you get there first, let me know.