Him: Maybe you need a good orgasm before you go to class tomorrow?
kitten: Yes please!
Him: And if you beg really well...a good spanking this weekend too
kitten: I have to beg for it?
Him: Yes, or perhaps...
kitten: Perhaps?
Him: Just throw you over my knee and make you take it without saying a word
Him: Perhaps. I don't want you knowing what to expect :)
Him: Just know that when i want it - i'll take it
Him: Understand?
kitten: yes sir
Him: Good. That's what I want to hear.
Brat
He texted me about 10 minutes before he was due to arrive and ordered me to touch my pussy, but not to come. I was rushing around, getting ready and straightening up, so I didn't do it. Before I knew it, he was walking through the door.
"Did you do what you were supposed to do?, he asked as he took some things out of his bag in the bedroom. I lingered in the doorway, uncertain of whether I should enter the room or back away from him in the interest of self-preservation.
"No, I was busy," I mumbled as I continued to dither in the doorway.
"You got busy and you didn't find time to do what I ordered," he stated. I nodded, wondering if he would be mad. I wondered if he knew that I intentionally didn't follow his order because I didn't feel like it.
"Okay, I'll let it go this one time because you were so good for me last night. But when I tell you to touch your pussy, I expect you to drop whatever you're doing and touch it, no matter how busy you are. Understand?" His voice was calm and there was no rage in his eyes. I relaxed. He wasn't going to punish me.
"And what if I don't?," I carelessly sassed.
His hand flew to my throat. "Then I'll tie you up and fuck you all day, but I won't let you come."
I knew that he would follow through on this threat, but for some reason I continued to be bratty toward him. Later, as we were getting ready for dinner, I made a comment that I knew would make him jealous. It was disrespectful and I don't know why I said it when I knew it would anger him.
"I should give you your spanking right now, just for that," he glowered, his mouth set in a straight line. "Although I think you'd like that, wouldn't you?" I stood in front of him and stared at him defiantly, silently daring him to do it. He stared down at me and pushed me backwards onto the bed. When I laid there with my legs closed, he slapped my thighs and ordered me to open them.
He put my legs up on his shoulders and entered me in one quick stroke. He pinned my arms down to the bed at my sides and leaned into me, folding me onto myself with my legs high above my head. I could feel him deep inside me as he started thrusting.
"What are you going to do about this now, you little brat?," he spat.
"I could say no," I said with insubordination in my voice. Really, what did I think I was doing? Why couldn't I just submit to him?
"But you're not going to do that, are you?" I shook my head no. "You know I'll just give it to you harder?" He started to slam into me and all I could do was wail a feeble yes as he put his whole weight onto me.
After what seemed like an eternity, he climbed off of me. I laid still on the bed where he had left me, my head hanging over the edge. He came around the bed and stood above me. He pushed his cock into my mouth from above. It pushed against the back of my throat and cut off my airway. The angle even kept me from breathing through my nose. After a couple of seconds, I started to choke but he didn't let up. I thrashed beneath him and he held my arms down so I couldn't claw at him. After another couple of seconds, he let me go.
"Did I hear you say 'more'?," he tauted me and, before I could say no, he was deep in my throat again. I pushed against him, struggling with my whole body before he let me go.
"Let's try this one more time."
As he moved over me, my defiance broke. "No, no more, please no more," I pleaded. He ignored me and pushed deep in my throat again. He covered my entire face and I completely panicked below him, struggling and moaning into him. After one last deep push down my throat, he let up.
He laid back on the bed and motioned for me to kneel between his legs. He held his cock out to me and I began sucking it slowly. He smoothed down my hair and let me catch my breath.
I paused. "I'm sorry," I said quietly, looking down.
"What are you sorry for, Kitten?"
I shrugged, unable to articulate anything at the moment because I was so shaken. He put his hand under my chin to force me to look him in the eyes. "Let me ask you - what do you feel when I do that to you? There's no wrong answer."
I hesitated. "It depends," I answered.
"Depends on what?"
"On how I'm feeling. Sometimes I'm calm."
"And the other times?"
"I hate it." I hate you, I was thinking. I hate that you beat me down and humiliate me.
"Even when you hate it, do you want me to stop?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because if you stopped because I couldn't take any more, I'd be disappointed in myself."
"It's not always easy, is it?" I shook my head. "Sometimes it's easy and you feel like you can take everything I give you. Other times, it's hard and you're so overwhelmed. You're not sure if you can take it. But that is the way it is supposed to be. What if it was always easy?"
"It wouldn't be worth it."
"That's right. Your submission won't always be easy, but that's what makes it so valuable to me. I challenge you because I know that you need it and I know that you want to work through this with me. If this was always easy, you'd always feel like something was missing. You'd seek more dominance and more pain.
"I'm training you to take more for me and that means sometimes it will be difficult. But I know it will be so worthwhile for you. I want you to know that I am so proud of how far you've come. You're such a good girl for me and I'm so proud of everything that you've learned. When you went into the bathroom and did what you did for me, you were such a good girl. You've come so far. I don't ever want you to be disappointed in yourself. You always try so hard, even when it's too much to take. And that is what I crave from you - that you'll give me everything."
I was nodding at all of this, fighting back tears and occasionally trying to look away. But he held my face and looked me right in the eyes. There was no escaping his intensity or his stare. My insubordination was gone. I was compliant and safe within my submission. I didn't resent him or begrudge him anything he wanted to take at that point.
"Thank you so much."
"You're welcome. Now I want you to make me come in your mouth."
"Did you do what you were supposed to do?, he asked as he took some things out of his bag in the bedroom. I lingered in the doorway, uncertain of whether I should enter the room or back away from him in the interest of self-preservation.
"No, I was busy," I mumbled as I continued to dither in the doorway.
"You got busy and you didn't find time to do what I ordered," he stated. I nodded, wondering if he would be mad. I wondered if he knew that I intentionally didn't follow his order because I didn't feel like it.
"Okay, I'll let it go this one time because you were so good for me last night. But when I tell you to touch your pussy, I expect you to drop whatever you're doing and touch it, no matter how busy you are. Understand?" His voice was calm and there was no rage in his eyes. I relaxed. He wasn't going to punish me.
"And what if I don't?," I carelessly sassed.
His hand flew to my throat. "Then I'll tie you up and fuck you all day, but I won't let you come."
I knew that he would follow through on this threat, but for some reason I continued to be bratty toward him. Later, as we were getting ready for dinner, I made a comment that I knew would make him jealous. It was disrespectful and I don't know why I said it when I knew it would anger him.
"I should give you your spanking right now, just for that," he glowered, his mouth set in a straight line. "Although I think you'd like that, wouldn't you?" I stood in front of him and stared at him defiantly, silently daring him to do it. He stared down at me and pushed me backwards onto the bed. When I laid there with my legs closed, he slapped my thighs and ordered me to open them.
He put my legs up on his shoulders and entered me in one quick stroke. He pinned my arms down to the bed at my sides and leaned into me, folding me onto myself with my legs high above my head. I could feel him deep inside me as he started thrusting.
"What are you going to do about this now, you little brat?," he spat.
"I could say no," I said with insubordination in my voice. Really, what did I think I was doing? Why couldn't I just submit to him?
"But you're not going to do that, are you?" I shook my head no. "You know I'll just give it to you harder?" He started to slam into me and all I could do was wail a feeble yes as he put his whole weight onto me.
After what seemed like an eternity, he climbed off of me. I laid still on the bed where he had left me, my head hanging over the edge. He came around the bed and stood above me. He pushed his cock into my mouth from above. It pushed against the back of my throat and cut off my airway. The angle even kept me from breathing through my nose. After a couple of seconds, I started to choke but he didn't let up. I thrashed beneath him and he held my arms down so I couldn't claw at him. After another couple of seconds, he let me go.
"Did I hear you say 'more'?," he tauted me and, before I could say no, he was deep in my throat again. I pushed against him, struggling with my whole body before he let me go.
"Let's try this one more time."
As he moved over me, my defiance broke. "No, no more, please no more," I pleaded. He ignored me and pushed deep in my throat again. He covered my entire face and I completely panicked below him, struggling and moaning into him. After one last deep push down my throat, he let up.
He laid back on the bed and motioned for me to kneel between his legs. He held his cock out to me and I began sucking it slowly. He smoothed down my hair and let me catch my breath.
I paused. "I'm sorry," I said quietly, looking down.
"What are you sorry for, Kitten?"
I shrugged, unable to articulate anything at the moment because I was so shaken. He put his hand under my chin to force me to look him in the eyes. "Let me ask you - what do you feel when I do that to you? There's no wrong answer."
I hesitated. "It depends," I answered.
"Depends on what?"
"On how I'm feeling. Sometimes I'm calm."
"And the other times?"
"I hate it." I hate you, I was thinking. I hate that you beat me down and humiliate me.
"Even when you hate it, do you want me to stop?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because if you stopped because I couldn't take any more, I'd be disappointed in myself."
"It's not always easy, is it?" I shook my head. "Sometimes it's easy and you feel like you can take everything I give you. Other times, it's hard and you're so overwhelmed. You're not sure if you can take it. But that is the way it is supposed to be. What if it was always easy?"
"It wouldn't be worth it."
"That's right. Your submission won't always be easy, but that's what makes it so valuable to me. I challenge you because I know that you need it and I know that you want to work through this with me. If this was always easy, you'd always feel like something was missing. You'd seek more dominance and more pain.
"I'm training you to take more for me and that means sometimes it will be difficult. But I know it will be so worthwhile for you. I want you to know that I am so proud of how far you've come. You're such a good girl for me and I'm so proud of everything that you've learned. When you went into the bathroom and did what you did for me, you were such a good girl. You've come so far. I don't ever want you to be disappointed in yourself. You always try so hard, even when it's too much to take. And that is what I crave from you - that you'll give me everything."
I was nodding at all of this, fighting back tears and occasionally trying to look away. But he held my face and looked me right in the eyes. There was no escaping his intensity or his stare. My insubordination was gone. I was compliant and safe within my submission. I didn't resent him or begrudge him anything he wanted to take at that point.
"Thank you so much."
"You're welcome. Now I want you to make me come in your mouth."
Text
Him: Mm i've got such fun ideas for a new toy for you
kitten: Oh yeah?
Him: Yes. I already know one thing i am getting you
kitten: Please tell me!
Him: No. You have to wait like a good girl
kitten: Please?
Him: Trust me it will be worth the wait.
kitten: *pouts*
Him: Patience
Him: In the meantime i want you to cum for me when you get home tonight
Him: Got it? Right to your bed. Panties off and then call me
kitten: Yes sir.
Him: Good. I want you to taste your pussy on your fingers while I listen
kitten: Oh yeah?
Him: Yes. I already know one thing i am getting you
kitten: Please tell me!
Him: No. You have to wait like a good girl
kitten: Please?
Him: Trust me it will be worth the wait.
kitten: *pouts*
Him: Patience
Him: In the meantime i want you to cum for me when you get home tonight
Him: Got it? Right to your bed. Panties off and then call me
kitten: Yes sir.
Him: Good. I want you to taste your pussy on your fingers while I listen
Ownership
After He put the wrist restraints on me, binding my arms behind my back, he put me down on my knees beside the bed. I had been unfocused and stressed about several things that day, so he held my face and talked to me before he even started touching my body.
"Kitten, what are you going to focus on right now?," he asked slowly.
"You," I breathed as I looked up at him.
"That's right. Just focus on me, on pleasing me, just focus on my cock," he lectured as he angled my head down toward his cock. He held my face a couple of inches from his cock and forced me to look right at it. "Tell me what you're focusing on."
"Your cock."
"Good girl," he said and brought my face back up to look at him. "You're going to take a lot for me tonight, aren't you?"
I nodded. My breathing was already slowing. The initial panic and helplessness that I felt when he locked my arms behind my back was ebbing away. I felt myself sinking into a place of deep calm. I looked steadily into his eyes. I didn't blink.
He pulled me up over his lap where I flailed for a minute until I caught my balance. He lifted my red nightie up over my ass and pulled the matching thong panties down. He began hitting my ass hard with his hand. He spanked one ass cheek and then the other, alternating sides and pausing to see if I would react or try to avoid the blows. He even faked like he was going to spank my right ass cheek, only to pull his hand back right before impact, but I didn't flinch. I just stretched out over his lap and waited with my head down against the mattress.
He pushed me back down to my knees on the floor and felt between my legs. I was extremely wet from the spanking. He smeared his wet fingers over my lips and pushed his fingers into my mouth. I sucked my juices off of them while I looked up into his eyes. I was waiting.
He suddenly pulled me to my feet and slapped my face before pushing me onto my back on the bed. I squirmed for a minute because my arms were uncomfortable. "Lie still," he seethed and I immediately stopped moving. He picked up my wet panties and put them into my mouth
"Open your legs," he commanded and smacked my thigh for emphasis. I opened them as he knelt over me. He stroked my hair with one hand and then suddenly smacked my exposed pussy with the other. I gasped with the sting and instinctively pulled my legs closed. "Open, now," he ordered. I obeyed, thinking he would touch me nicely, maybe let me come? But no, he smacked my pussy harder this time and before I could close my legs, he smacked it again.
"You're my bound-up little slut tonight, aren't you? Totally at my mercy?," he asked. He wasn't waiting for my response. He smacked my pussy again twice, the blows coming in quick succession. "Relax, Kitten. I won't hit your little pussy again. Open," he said as he pried my legs open. I relaxed, breathed.
Then he hit my pussy again. "Okay, maybe once more," he chuckled to himself.
He took the panties out of my mouth and knelt over my face, pushing his cock deep down my throat. "Look at you, you are totally helpless. You can't even move if I choke you, can you?," he taunted and pushed deeper down my throat. But I was calm. I wasn't choking. I was looking up at him. His cock was pushing on the back of my throat and I was breathing steadily. I couldn't move if I wanted to. If I needed to get out from under him, I wouldn't be able to do it. But I didn't want to move or get away. I wanted to be right there, with his weight pushing down on me, with his cock deep in my mouth.
He laid down next to me, brushing my hair out of my face. "You're right here with me, aren't you?," he asked, holding my face. "What are you feeling right now?"
I didn't even have to think or hesitate. "Owned," I said.
"What does being owned feel like, Kitten?"
"Safe, controlled." I was somewhere else, somewhere where I could only feel his touch and could only see his eyes. The bedroom was floating in the middle of space. Nothing existed outside the four walls, not time, not anything.
He could see it in my eyes. He shook his head in wonder, as if he couldn't believe the place we had reached together. He climbed in between my legs and slid deep into me. He fucked me hard with my legs around his waist, pounding deep into me but keeping his eyes on mine the entire time.
"I love you," he moaned desperately as he came and the tears started running down my face.
"I love you," I whispered, feeling him slide his arms under my body, taking some of the pressure off of my sore shoulders. He lifted me up to a sitting position and unbuckled the cuffs. He held me close to his chest, rocking me slowly. I laid my head on his shoulder. "Good girl," he whispered over and over again. "My good girl..."
"Kitten, what are you going to focus on right now?," he asked slowly.
"You," I breathed as I looked up at him.
"That's right. Just focus on me, on pleasing me, just focus on my cock," he lectured as he angled my head down toward his cock. He held my face a couple of inches from his cock and forced me to look right at it. "Tell me what you're focusing on."
"Your cock."
"Good girl," he said and brought my face back up to look at him. "You're going to take a lot for me tonight, aren't you?"
I nodded. My breathing was already slowing. The initial panic and helplessness that I felt when he locked my arms behind my back was ebbing away. I felt myself sinking into a place of deep calm. I looked steadily into his eyes. I didn't blink.
He pulled me up over his lap where I flailed for a minute until I caught my balance. He lifted my red nightie up over my ass and pulled the matching thong panties down. He began hitting my ass hard with his hand. He spanked one ass cheek and then the other, alternating sides and pausing to see if I would react or try to avoid the blows. He even faked like he was going to spank my right ass cheek, only to pull his hand back right before impact, but I didn't flinch. I just stretched out over his lap and waited with my head down against the mattress.
He pushed me back down to my knees on the floor and felt between my legs. I was extremely wet from the spanking. He smeared his wet fingers over my lips and pushed his fingers into my mouth. I sucked my juices off of them while I looked up into his eyes. I was waiting.
He suddenly pulled me to my feet and slapped my face before pushing me onto my back on the bed. I squirmed for a minute because my arms were uncomfortable. "Lie still," he seethed and I immediately stopped moving. He picked up my wet panties and put them into my mouth
"Open your legs," he commanded and smacked my thigh for emphasis. I opened them as he knelt over me. He stroked my hair with one hand and then suddenly smacked my exposed pussy with the other. I gasped with the sting and instinctively pulled my legs closed. "Open, now," he ordered. I obeyed, thinking he would touch me nicely, maybe let me come? But no, he smacked my pussy harder this time and before I could close my legs, he smacked it again.
"You're my bound-up little slut tonight, aren't you? Totally at my mercy?," he asked. He wasn't waiting for my response. He smacked my pussy again twice, the blows coming in quick succession. "Relax, Kitten. I won't hit your little pussy again. Open," he said as he pried my legs open. I relaxed, breathed.
Then he hit my pussy again. "Okay, maybe once more," he chuckled to himself.
He took the panties out of my mouth and knelt over my face, pushing his cock deep down my throat. "Look at you, you are totally helpless. You can't even move if I choke you, can you?," he taunted and pushed deeper down my throat. But I was calm. I wasn't choking. I was looking up at him. His cock was pushing on the back of my throat and I was breathing steadily. I couldn't move if I wanted to. If I needed to get out from under him, I wouldn't be able to do it. But I didn't want to move or get away. I wanted to be right there, with his weight pushing down on me, with his cock deep in my mouth.
He laid down next to me, brushing my hair out of my face. "You're right here with me, aren't you?," he asked, holding my face. "What are you feeling right now?"
I didn't even have to think or hesitate. "Owned," I said.
"What does being owned feel like, Kitten?"
"Safe, controlled." I was somewhere else, somewhere where I could only feel his touch and could only see his eyes. The bedroom was floating in the middle of space. Nothing existed outside the four walls, not time, not anything.
He could see it in my eyes. He shook his head in wonder, as if he couldn't believe the place we had reached together. He climbed in between my legs and slid deep into me. He fucked me hard with my legs around his waist, pounding deep into me but keeping his eyes on mine the entire time.
"I love you," he moaned desperately as he came and the tears started running down my face.
"I love you," I whispered, feeling him slide his arms under my body, taking some of the pressure off of my sore shoulders. He lifted me up to a sitting position and unbuckled the cuffs. He held me close to his chest, rocking me slowly. I laid my head on his shoulder. "Good girl," he whispered over and over again. "My good girl..."
Film
He and I watched a DVD the other night - James Mangold's remake of 3:10 to Yuma. Early in the film, Russell Crowe's character approaches a woman, a barmaid, who is turned away from him and fussing with something behind the bar. He focuses in on her from across the room and saunters up to her in almost a predatory manner. When he has crossed the room, he stands close behind her and speaks into her ear. He puts his hand against the back of her neck and you can see her breath quicken. When he turns her around, she looks up at him with wide eyes and he devours her in a passionate kiss, holding her by the neck the entire time.
"Wow," I whispered under my breath at the end of the scene.
"You liked that, didn't you Kitten?," he chuckled as he watched me out of the corner of his eye.
"Yes. I don't even think Russell Crowe is that attractive, but did you see the way he talked to her? And the way she looked at him?"
"I did. I think she liked it as much as you did." He was getting that hungry look in his eyes and I could see him shifting toward me on the couch.
"Well, maybe she and I are the same type of girl," I smirked.
And in the next scene, the same woman is laying naked on her side on the bed as a fully dressed Russell Crowe sketches her from a chair across the room. He gets up and kneels over her on the bed. She rolls onto her back, tilting her head back as he leans over her to kiss her.
"Yes, I'd say you two are exactly the same type of girl," he said as he moved slowly toward me, pinning me underneath him on the couch.
Or maybe I just see my submission reflected everywhere?
"Wow," I whispered under my breath at the end of the scene.
"You liked that, didn't you Kitten?," he chuckled as he watched me out of the corner of his eye.
"Yes. I don't even think Russell Crowe is that attractive, but did you see the way he talked to her? And the way she looked at him?"
"I did. I think she liked it as much as you did." He was getting that hungry look in his eyes and I could see him shifting toward me on the couch.
"Well, maybe she and I are the same type of girl," I smirked.
And in the next scene, the same woman is laying naked on her side on the bed as a fully dressed Russell Crowe sketches her from a chair across the room. He gets up and kneels over her on the bed. She rolls onto her back, tilting her head back as he leans over her to kiss her.
"Yes, I'd say you two are exactly the same type of girl," he said as he moved slowly toward me, pinning me underneath him on the couch.
Or maybe I just see my submission reflected everywhere?
Bathroom
He bent me over the back of the couch and slid his cock deep into my pussy. He pressed against me insistently, grinding his hips against my ass. After a few thrusts, I started to feel a nagging pressure in my stomach. I know that his cock is sometimes physically more than I can take, but I knew that wasn't the only issue. Really, the problem was that I had to pee.
(Deep breath. I cannot believe that I am writing about this.)
I asked him if I could have a minute to go to the bathroom and told him why.
"Do you want me to come in with you?," he asked in his most gentle voice.
"No," I said immediately, but he waited. I stood perfectly still for a minute, thinking. We had talked about this. I knew what he wanted me to do. I knew that he would get his way sooner or later. "I don't know," I mumbled after a minute.
"Okay, Kitten, come with me," he decided. Before I realized that he had made up my mind for me, he was gently leading me by my hair down the hallway. I paused at the door of the bathroom and he softly tapped my ass so that I would go in before him.
"Are you too shy to turn on the light?," he whispered to me in the dark bathroom. I nodded and looked up at him as he stroked my face and hair. I thought about backing out of the bathroom but then he smiled down at me. I sat down on the toilet instead. My face grew hot with shame immediately. I thought I knew humiliation before, but I was wrong. He put a few inches of his cock into my mouth. I started sucking on it slowly, focusing most of my attention on trying to pee.
I was very tense, and he reached down to massage my shoulder when he heard me take a deep breath. He slid his cock out of my mouth and knelt on the floor of the bathroom next to me. He put his arms around me, rocking me back and forth. I was whimpering that I really wanted to do this for him but that my body just wasn't cooperating. For a time, I sat very still with my head on his shoulder while he rubbed my back slowly, up and down. I never felt more like a little child, vulnerable and small, and he was never more gentle and patient with me.
I didn't understand why this was so hard for me. I felt like I had to pee and I wanted to do this for him so badly. But there was some psychological block that I just couldn't let down. I started worrying about all sorts of ridiculous things, like would going to the bathroom become strangely sexualized for me now? Would I lose the ability to control my bladder the way that I can no longer control my arousal when I'm around him? As I sat there, I felt like a child being potty trained, but I had already been potty trained as a child. Was this some sort of twisted sexual un-training? I started to breathe faster and become upset.
"I'm going to stand outside the door so you can relax, okay Kitten?"
"No, please, I can do it, please stay!," I pleaded. "Please don't leave, I know I can do it!"
"I'll be right outside the door, I won't be far, baby."
I cried softly to myself as I continued to sit there. I felt so alone and I wished that he was still holding me. I called out his name to make sure that he was still there. He was there, he was just waiting quietly. Finally, I was able to let go and pee a little bit. He came in a few seconds later and (again, I thought I knew humiliation until this moment) patted me dry with a few pieces of toilet paper.
He led me by the hand into the bedroom, where I laid in the crook of his arm with my head on his shoulder. I was bitterly disappointed in myself.
"Kitten, you are such a good girl. You were so good for me," he sighed.
"I wasn't good. I couldn't do it. I let you down."
"No, you didn't let me down," he said, cupping my chin in his hand so that he could look me right in the eye. "I'm so proud of how willing you were. That is so difficult and you'll learn. What I wanted to see is that you wanted to please me."
"I did. More than anything."
"Good, Kitten. I could tell. Plus, when I'm disappointed in you, you'll know it," he laughed devilishly before pulling me to his chest.
(Deep breath. I cannot believe that I am writing about this.)
I asked him if I could have a minute to go to the bathroom and told him why.
"Do you want me to come in with you?," he asked in his most gentle voice.
"No," I said immediately, but he waited. I stood perfectly still for a minute, thinking. We had talked about this. I knew what he wanted me to do. I knew that he would get his way sooner or later. "I don't know," I mumbled after a minute.
"Okay, Kitten, come with me," he decided. Before I realized that he had made up my mind for me, he was gently leading me by my hair down the hallway. I paused at the door of the bathroom and he softly tapped my ass so that I would go in before him.
"Are you too shy to turn on the light?," he whispered to me in the dark bathroom. I nodded and looked up at him as he stroked my face and hair. I thought about backing out of the bathroom but then he smiled down at me. I sat down on the toilet instead. My face grew hot with shame immediately. I thought I knew humiliation before, but I was wrong. He put a few inches of his cock into my mouth. I started sucking on it slowly, focusing most of my attention on trying to pee.
I was very tense, and he reached down to massage my shoulder when he heard me take a deep breath. He slid his cock out of my mouth and knelt on the floor of the bathroom next to me. He put his arms around me, rocking me back and forth. I was whimpering that I really wanted to do this for him but that my body just wasn't cooperating. For a time, I sat very still with my head on his shoulder while he rubbed my back slowly, up and down. I never felt more like a little child, vulnerable and small, and he was never more gentle and patient with me.
I didn't understand why this was so hard for me. I felt like I had to pee and I wanted to do this for him so badly. But there was some psychological block that I just couldn't let down. I started worrying about all sorts of ridiculous things, like would going to the bathroom become strangely sexualized for me now? Would I lose the ability to control my bladder the way that I can no longer control my arousal when I'm around him? As I sat there, I felt like a child being potty trained, but I had already been potty trained as a child. Was this some sort of twisted sexual un-training? I started to breathe faster and become upset.
"I'm going to stand outside the door so you can relax, okay Kitten?"
"No, please, I can do it, please stay!," I pleaded. "Please don't leave, I know I can do it!"
"I'll be right outside the door, I won't be far, baby."
I cried softly to myself as I continued to sit there. I felt so alone and I wished that he was still holding me. I called out his name to make sure that he was still there. He was there, he was just waiting quietly. Finally, I was able to let go and pee a little bit. He came in a few seconds later and (again, I thought I knew humiliation until this moment) patted me dry with a few pieces of toilet paper.
He led me by the hand into the bedroom, where I laid in the crook of his arm with my head on his shoulder. I was bitterly disappointed in myself.
"Kitten, you are such a good girl. You were so good for me," he sighed.
"I wasn't good. I couldn't do it. I let you down."
"No, you didn't let me down," he said, cupping my chin in his hand so that he could look me right in the eye. "I'm so proud of how willing you were. That is so difficult and you'll learn. What I wanted to see is that you wanted to please me."
"I did. More than anything."
"Good, Kitten. I could tell. Plus, when I'm disappointed in you, you'll know it," he laughed devilishly before pulling me to his chest.
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