"Can you tell I'm going easy on you tonight?," He asked as he held my face and stared deep into my eyes. I nodded. He was so quiet and calm.
"You know, there are times when I have to be rough with you and punish you. And there are times like tonight when I only have to look at you and talk to you, and you'll just know I'm in total control of you. I'll be easy on you and caress you, but there will be no question that you're submitting to me completely. Do you understand?"
I did understand. After some difficult times recently, I was calmer and deeper in my submission to him. He told me that he would break me, and by overcoming my resistance he started. He broke that part of me that fought against him and brought me to a new level of submission to him. That night, though, he didn't need to force his dominance on me in the least - I was completely compliant. Admittedly, we weren't breaking any new ground that night. But our deeper connection, forged in tears and pain, was powerful enough for that night.
His hands were gentle on me, his words soft, whispered into my ear. Aside from his demand that I tell him who owns me over and over again, we could have been any other couple sharing a few intimate hours together. There are times when I need this, can take only this, and it fits perfectly in the ebb and flow of our relationship. These are the times when the pain fades away and my need to be hurt is absent. I still feel wonderfully, freely submissive to him and I still know that every part of me belongs to him. Only to him.
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Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.
- Rilke
D/s, from the inside.
This blog contains mature subject matter. Adults only, please.
I always appreciate your comments and e-mails. Thanks for reading!
I always appreciate your comments and e-mails. Thanks for reading!
About Me
- Kitten
- I am a submissive girl who loves to be dominated by her very devious, and sometimes gentle, man.
Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.
- Rilke
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7 comments:
Kitten,
Is this your first relationship with a Dom? Just curious, I enjoy your writing very much, I enjoy a submissive although I don't have one of my own now. Thanks,
Tex
Yes, it is my first relationship with a Dom. Hehe, is it that obvious?
-Kitten
i enjoy reading your journal. i think you are very lucky to have such a wonderful caring Dom. i also am new to this lifestyle and can relate to how you feel about some of your experiences; i'm looking forward to many more myself. Thank you for sharing.
s bootsie
what an intimate accounting...i understand you so well kitten. I read you and think back to myself early on with Richard. I enjoy reading you so much.
Bootsie - Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I hope that you find writing to be therapeutic and helpful as you start out. I look forward to reading more about your adventures!
Pixie - Thank you so much! I know from reading your blog that you understand this dynamic...how sweet it can be after all of the pain.
-Kitten
Good evening,
Just found your blog and enjoying reading it very much.
Had to add a comment to this one Myself. There are times when things are physically intense with My submissive, and other times, much like your description here. Much quieter, calmer.. perhaps more emotional and mental then physical.
There are levels within levels. All of it is intense.. but some of it is less.. difficult.
Sometimes I want to see Paladin writhing around in his bindings..and other times.. I simply want to lay and talk with him, so I can understand this posting very well.
Best to you both,
Mystress
Mystress,
Thanks for reading and commenting. It is so easy to overlook the quiet times in a rush to focus on the intense sessions. But the quiet times are so rewarding and special in a totally different way.
Best,
-Kitten
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