My friend and yours, the Discerning Dom, has written on the threesome from the male perspective, including why it's desirable to share your submissive with another man. I understand all of those reasons. I see them expressed by my Owner - He wants to feel that he can use me and own me so completely that I'll fuck another man for him, He wants me to express my inner slut for him, etc.
But why do I want to share Him with another woman? I feel it very strongly, but I cannot explain why. Remember the experience that we had this spring with that other couple? I didn't write about one part of that experience - the part where I sucked my Owner's cock with her. I was just about to start sucking His cock while the couple watched when I was overcome with the strongest feeling - I wanted to see her do it too. I wanted Him to feel that. I wanted to see His cock in her mouth. I wanted to share all of that with her and embrace them both in that moment.
I got my wish. I was so pleased to look up at one point and see my Owner reclining on the bed with his hands behind his head and this look of utter bliss on his face. He looked like the happiest man on earth.
And I have felt that desire many times since. We are about to embark on something new, possibly with someone we both can share. I want so many things with her and with Him, things that I want to see her enjoy with Him and ways that He can please me by pleasuring her. I cannot tease out all of the threads and understand why. I am happy that I feel this way because I think that it means that I'm growing into my relationship and comfortable with all of the ways that my Owner and I can explore our love for each other. (But there is a tiny part of me that thinks that my desires are fucked up and maybe wrong somehow.)
I know that part of it is simple - that I want to share Him just so I can experience his pleasure second-hand. That is part of it, surely, because I am nothing if not a people-pleaser. But I am usually also a jealous person and I would have expected that I would want to please Him myself, to know that I provide Him with the most pleasure in this world, not anyone else. But when push comes to shove, I'm not jealous. I'm generous and I want to share Him.
Why?
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Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.
- Rilke
D/s, from the inside.
This blog contains mature subject matter. Adults only, please.
I always appreciate your comments and e-mails. Thanks for reading!
I always appreciate your comments and e-mails. Thanks for reading!
About Me
- Kitten
- I am a submissive girl who loves to be dominated by her very devious, and sometimes gentle, man.
Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.
- Rilke
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6 comments:
Maybe you are now more than ever secure in the fact that he wants *you* and not just any submissive girl he could find. You know that you ultimately bring him the most pleasure - and not just sexually, either. You fill a spot in his life that couldn't possibly be replaced by just anybody, and I'd imagine that knowing that would help a lot in quelling jealous feelings towards another woman.
I know it was a HUGE turn-on for me to share my man with another woman. It was such a huge turn-on because HE wanted it too.
With Mr Right, this is not a turn-on for him. And, for me, it would not be a turn-on at all to share him with another woman simply because he has no interest in it.
For me, I didn't have the jealousy issue because I knew the other woman was just there for sex. If we ever had a woman in bed with us, who was looking for a relationship, and could be looking for such a relationship with my man, the green-eyed jealousy monster would never loosen its grip on me!
If you can focus on his enjoyment, and know that it's because of the trust that you have for each other, that he and you are able to have such an experience, jealousy likely won't ever be an issue for you.
good luck!
cutesypah
I look forward to hearing more about your experience of sharing. Strange to tell, I didn't want another woman with us, I just wanted to share her with another man. I'll have to try and blog about why this was so.
hi kitten..just be careful. you love him- generosity only goes so far and sharing someone even if you think you are 100% secure with him is opening a door to all sorts of things. just be careful-pixie
Pixie, we all know you live a life of drama, misery and PLENTY of regrets. What's the point of trying to bring down Kitten's excitement? "be careful, be careful!"
I hope you post this Kitten, it really needs to be said. People don't want you happy, they want to plant seeds or doubt to make up for their unhappiness.
Thank you all for your comments, even those that urge caution. I decided to publish the anonymous comment, not because I agree with the sentiment, but because I don't like to censor comments unless they are abusive.
That being said, my Owner and I have talked about this situation a lot. We have and continue to take our time so that we find ourselves in the right circumstances.
Best,
Kitten
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