My friend and yours, the Discerning Dom, has written on the threesome from the male perspective, including why it's desirable to share your submissive with another man. I understand all of those reasons. I see them expressed by my Owner - He wants to feel that he can use me and own me so completely that I'll fuck another man for him, He wants me to express my inner slut for him, etc.
But why do I want to share Him with another woman? I feel it very strongly, but I cannot explain why. Remember the experience that we had this spring with that other couple? I didn't write about one part of that experience - the part where I sucked my Owner's cock with her. I was just about to start sucking His cock while the couple watched when I was overcome with the strongest feeling - I wanted to see her do it too. I wanted Him to feel that. I wanted to see His cock in her mouth. I wanted to share all of that with her and embrace them both in that moment.
I got my wish. I was so pleased to look up at one point and see my Owner reclining on the bed with his hands behind his head and this look of utter bliss on his face. He looked like the happiest man on earth.
And I have felt that desire many times since. We are about to embark on something new, possibly with someone we both can share. I want so many things with her and with Him, things that I want to see her enjoy with Him and ways that He can please me by pleasuring her. I cannot tease out all of the threads and understand why. I am happy that I feel this way because I think that it means that I'm growing into my relationship and comfortable with all of the ways that my Owner and I can explore our love for each other. (But there is a tiny part of me that thinks that my desires are fucked up and maybe wrong somehow.)
I know that part of it is simple - that I want to share Him just so I can experience his pleasure second-hand. That is part of it, surely, because I am nothing if not a people-pleaser. But I am usually also a jealous person and I would have expected that I would want to please Him myself, to know that I provide Him with the most pleasure in this world, not anyone else. But when push comes to shove, I'm not jealous. I'm generous and I want to share Him.
Why?
Encore
My Owner and I were pressed together, sweaty and hoarse from screaming.
No, it's not what you think. We were at an amazing concert. It lasted almost three hours and it was exhilarating. The crowd was rowdy and my Owner was working hard to protect me from getting stomped on. I'm barely 5'2", so I can get claustrophobic in crowds of tall people. But He put His arms around me and we were safe in the chaos together.
But not quite alone...
A few songs into the set, He started protecting this girl who was even shorter than me. I saw her in my peripheral vision at first and could see that she was cute. Black top, dark hair, sexy eyes. My Owner put out His arm to make sure she didn't get knocked over and she shot him a grateful smile. She stayed by us, dancing close. I saw her looking at me and at Him. Her hip and arm bumped mine as she danced close to me and she gave me little looks under her eyelashes.
I felt my breathing quicken every time she ground her hips against mine. None of us said anything - I was convinced for a while that I was imaging things, and so was my Owner - but after a while we could both feel the electric energy between the three of us. I cast around for something to say to her, something that would sound flirtatious when screamed over the loud music, but I didn't know what to say. How could I let her know that we thought she was cute and yes, we wanted her like she seemed to want us? It seemed like too complicated a concept to express.
So we just danced and looked at each other, little lingering looks that made me wet. My Owner snaked His arm around my waist and I kissed Him as she watched, wondering if she would like to kiss him too. It was pure fantasy, but I felt all the special possibilities opening up before me in that moment.
And I wonder where she is now.
No, it's not what you think. We were at an amazing concert. It lasted almost three hours and it was exhilarating. The crowd was rowdy and my Owner was working hard to protect me from getting stomped on. I'm barely 5'2", so I can get claustrophobic in crowds of tall people. But He put His arms around me and we were safe in the chaos together.
But not quite alone...
A few songs into the set, He started protecting this girl who was even shorter than me. I saw her in my peripheral vision at first and could see that she was cute. Black top, dark hair, sexy eyes. My Owner put out His arm to make sure she didn't get knocked over and she shot him a grateful smile. She stayed by us, dancing close. I saw her looking at me and at Him. Her hip and arm bumped mine as she danced close to me and she gave me little looks under her eyelashes.
I felt my breathing quicken every time she ground her hips against mine. None of us said anything - I was convinced for a while that I was imaging things, and so was my Owner - but after a while we could both feel the electric energy between the three of us. I cast around for something to say to her, something that would sound flirtatious when screamed over the loud music, but I didn't know what to say. How could I let her know that we thought she was cute and yes, we wanted her like she seemed to want us? It seemed like too complicated a concept to express.
So we just danced and looked at each other, little lingering looks that made me wet. My Owner snaked His arm around my waist and I kissed Him as she watched, wondering if she would like to kiss him too. It was pure fantasy, but I felt all the special possibilities opening up before me in that moment.
And I wonder where she is now.
Asexual
We did everything that night, except fuck. It was raw and primal and intense; in short, it was everything that we love and everything that characterizes our dynamic.
He snapped His fingers. I crawled to Him.
He kicked me down onto the floor. I cringed.
He spanked me mercilessly. I sobbed until He knew I had had enough.
After it was over, we were spent. We curled up next to each other on the floor. I felt like all of the tension had been wrung out of my body. We looked at each other with those blissed-out looks on our faces, but neither of us had come.
It was perfectly unexpected.
He snapped His fingers. I crawled to Him.
He kicked me down onto the floor. I cringed.
He spanked me mercilessly. I sobbed until He knew I had had enough.
After it was over, we were spent. We curled up next to each other on the floor. I felt like all of the tension had been wrung out of my body. We looked at each other with those blissed-out looks on our faces, but neither of us had come.
It was perfectly unexpected.
Pent Up
For a number of reasons, we spent last week together but we couldn't have sex.
It wasn't until the end of the week that we realized what that had done to us. In the absence of any sexual play between us, we had taken to sniping at each other. We both were constantly impatient and a tad testy. We didn't even realize that we were doing it.
Until, at the end of the week, after we had both come and were feeling much better, it dawned on me. Whatever sexual energy we regularly exercise, whatever play we used to get the small tensions out, had been all pent up. We needed the release, not just for our sanity but for the health of our relationship.
"Do you think that's a bad thing?," I asked Him once I realized what had happened.
"No, I think it's just part of who we are," He said and held me closer.
I really hope that we don't make that mistake again :-)
It wasn't until the end of the week that we realized what that had done to us. In the absence of any sexual play between us, we had taken to sniping at each other. We both were constantly impatient and a tad testy. We didn't even realize that we were doing it.
Until, at the end of the week, after we had both come and were feeling much better, it dawned on me. Whatever sexual energy we regularly exercise, whatever play we used to get the small tensions out, had been all pent up. We needed the release, not just for our sanity but for the health of our relationship.
"Do you think that's a bad thing?," I asked Him once I realized what had happened.
"No, I think it's just part of who we are," He said and held me closer.
I really hope that we don't make that mistake again :-)
Health & Welfare
This isn't really about my relationship with my Owner, but it is about me and my health so I think it's relevant. After all, my well-being is directly in His interest. A happy, healthy submissive makes for a good submissive, yes?
I started exercising seriously over the winter. I finally quit smoking in January after...oh god, this makes me so ashamed...smoking regularly for about 12 years. I loved smoking and was very serious about it. It was a huge part of who I was, even after it became more of a negative than a positive. I finally got sick of feeling awful and smelling awful and, like a truly vain person, didn't want to spend any more time destroying my skin with cigarettes.
So a few weeks after I quit, I started exercising in order to stay in a healthy frame of mind. I haven't touched a cigarette since, although I do dream about smoking quite often. (I guess it's still pretty deeply ingrained in my subconscious.) After I got in decent shape, I started running seriously. I'm totally obsessed with running now - the way it makes my body look and feel, the amazing high I get for hours after an early morning run, the noticeable metabolism rev that I can feel, etc. I even love saying that I'm a runner and having that as part of my identity. I think it speaks of a certain strength of character that I get out there on the road before most people are awake. Something about that makes me feel really alive and really strong.
In July, I ran my first 5K...my first road race in my life, period. I'm planning on running another in the fall. I'm really, really proud of my accomplishment, if you'll allow me this moment of complete non-humbleness. As I strode across that finish line, I could hardly believe that I was an out-of-shape smoker just seven months before.
Next, I'm thinking about taking up meditation. I'm a bundle of nerves, usually, although running has given me some rare moments of peace in my life as of late. But I would love to be able to find a way to bring more calmness into even more areas of my life. I tried yoga in the past and enjoyed it physically, but I was never able to obtain the serenity necessary to get its full benefits. Do any of you have experience with meditation or have any suggestions?
I started exercising seriously over the winter. I finally quit smoking in January after...oh god, this makes me so ashamed...smoking regularly for about 12 years. I loved smoking and was very serious about it. It was a huge part of who I was, even after it became more of a negative than a positive. I finally got sick of feeling awful and smelling awful and, like a truly vain person, didn't want to spend any more time destroying my skin with cigarettes.
So a few weeks after I quit, I started exercising in order to stay in a healthy frame of mind. I haven't touched a cigarette since, although I do dream about smoking quite often. (I guess it's still pretty deeply ingrained in my subconscious.) After I got in decent shape, I started running seriously. I'm totally obsessed with running now - the way it makes my body look and feel, the amazing high I get for hours after an early morning run, the noticeable metabolism rev that I can feel, etc. I even love saying that I'm a runner and having that as part of my identity. I think it speaks of a certain strength of character that I get out there on the road before most people are awake. Something about that makes me feel really alive and really strong.
In July, I ran my first 5K...my first road race in my life, period. I'm planning on running another in the fall. I'm really, really proud of my accomplishment, if you'll allow me this moment of complete non-humbleness. As I strode across that finish line, I could hardly believe that I was an out-of-shape smoker just seven months before.
Next, I'm thinking about taking up meditation. I'm a bundle of nerves, usually, although running has given me some rare moments of peace in my life as of late. But I would love to be able to find a way to bring more calmness into even more areas of my life. I tried yoga in the past and enjoyed it physically, but I was never able to obtain the serenity necessary to get its full benefits. Do any of you have experience with meditation or have any suggestions?
Rules, Rules, Rules
Some submissives complain about rules set out by their Masters, but maybe I'm different. I love rules. I welcome them and thrive under them. My favorite rule is my bedtime because it helps me so, so much. My Owner really got that one right and I thank my lucky stars every day that I have Him to help me with my sleep schedule or I'd be the most unproductive Kitten ever.
The great thing about any set of rules imposed by my Owner is that the rules usually come with an explanation. My Owner sits down and tells me what the rules are and why the rules are. When I'm most confused and the situation is most uncertain, I love having the rules to carve out a safe course of conduct for my behavior. I love knowing where the boundaries are (better not to inadvertently to step over them) and I love the satisfaction in knowing when I am able to comply with my Owner's wishes to a T.
There are a lot of gray areas in my life, but things are better with my Owner when the lines are drawn in black and white. The clarity and security in knowing where I stand, even in the face of an onerous restriction, warms my submissive little heart in ways that I've only begun to explore. Let me know your feelings about your rules and whether you enjoy them, love/hate them or something else!
The great thing about any set of rules imposed by my Owner is that the rules usually come with an explanation. My Owner sits down and tells me what the rules are and why the rules are. When I'm most confused and the situation is most uncertain, I love having the rules to carve out a safe course of conduct for my behavior. I love knowing where the boundaries are (better not to inadvertently to step over them) and I love the satisfaction in knowing when I am able to comply with my Owner's wishes to a T.
There are a lot of gray areas in my life, but things are better with my Owner when the lines are drawn in black and white. The clarity and security in knowing where I stand, even in the face of an onerous restriction, warms my submissive little heart in ways that I've only begun to explore. Let me know your feelings about your rules and whether you enjoy them, love/hate them or something else!
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