I often wonder if anyone tags me as a submissive on sight. I once read a news story on the substantial number of women with submissive proclivities, so I imagine there must be more than a handful of us walking around out in the world. But to pass me on the city street, you'd probably never guess. I look like any other 20-something professional woman. I'm a conservative dresser - I have to wear a suit to work and I dress like a college student in my free time. I never wear pleather in public. I'm not a sexpot or a vixen in my behavior; actually, I'm quite reserved and a little cold in my everyday interactions. I never wear red lipstick (again, in public). Would anyone guess that I'm a slut in private, that I love to be filled with his cock, used by him?
When I'm out with Him, we appear to be a regular couple. He is polite in public, respectful. He opens doors for me and never lets me carry my own shopping bags (which makes me swoon). He is gently protective, putting his hand on the small of my back to guide me. It's obvious that we are in love as we are very affectionate, but nothing more.
At times like this, I long to be discovered. I want him to slide his hand under the back of my skirt as we wait for the bartender to bring us our drinks. I want to pull him into the bathroom stall with me and suck his cock, returning to the restaurant with the taste of him on my lips. I want us to have to leave the club because we can't wait any longer and I want him to fuck me over the hood of his car in the far corner of the deserted parking lot.
He knows that I fantasize about getting caught, that's why he tempts me with this scenario time and again. Once we leave the house, though, I feel so shy. I was once discovered by a police officer in the middle of having sex in a car with an ex-boyfriend. The officer asked if I was there of my own free will and checked my ID because he thought I was under age. It was one of the most humiliating things I have ever experienced.
Now He mines that humiliation for his own purposes. He wants me to feel it, wants it to make my cheeks burn with shame, but he also wants the humiliation to be overpowered by my desire to please him. He wants the shame to be eclipsed by my crazed lust for him. He wants to see me begging for whatever he wants to give me, even if it means I may be exposed. This is all part of his plan to break me down, to leave me defenseless to his whims. In the end, I'll be on my knees, dripping and completely submissive to whatever he wants from me, wherever and whenever he wants it.