We connect, we disconnect, we reconnect again. The tide comes in and goes out. Days change, nothing changes.
He and I have time together, moments of intense connection. Then we have periods apart, and I have periods of solitary longing. These times feel like falling away into the cold, away from his warmth. But we find each other again and he brings me back. How long will this cycle continue? Won't I feel this way even if I spend every night with him and wake up with him every day? Won't I always long to bask in his glow at the end of every long day? Won't I still suffer every second of his absence? Can this please continue forever?
It was our first time back together after an absence and we had to run an errand before a store closed. We were threading our way through the aisles. I was trailing him, holding onto his hand. He stopped to pick up an item and I stepped close to him, putting my face close to his neck and inhaling his scent. (Have I mentioned that I love how he smells? Sometimes I hold the pillow he sleeps on close to me at night so I can breathe him in as I sleep.).
He put down the item and turned to me, looping his arms around my back and nestling his face in my hair. He were both breathing in and out, in and out together, deeper and faster. The hair on the back of my neck stood up and I could feel him strong against me. We were both still, but there was a silent crackle of electricity. Everything was charged and I was on fire.
How much time passed? Certainly not more than a minute or two. But I could feel myself being drawn into him, absorbed by the sheer power of him. He pulled back an inch and looked down at me, devouring me with his eyes, consuming every inch of me. We seemed to hang suspended in time, not breathing or moving, simply existing in a space created just for us.
Then we both took a deep breath and stepped back. "Whoa," he sighed, shaking his head.
"Down, boy," I smiled.
"Down me? Down you. Damn, can I just take you right here?"
I giggled and we moved off down the aisle together, hand in hand, reconnected.