Ownership, Part II

I spent most of last weekend apart from Him. I had family obligations and a long-planned girls' night out, and I just couldn't find time to see him for several days. I was feeing a bit lost without him and I know he was hurting. He kept calling and demanding that I come for him over the phone in more complicated ways (in a public restroom, with two fingers in my ass, etc.). I was in constant contact with him, but I struggled to manage my obligations and remain under his control.

On Saturday night, I was out to dinner with my friends and I was feeling listless. We had just ordered and they were having a conversation about a popular television show. I don't watch the show, so I felt disconnected from the conversation, but there was more to it than that. I had spent the whole day with these people who don't know about the D/s aspect of my relationship with Him. I felt like a part of me was missing. I don't need to talk about my submission all the time, but to live like it doesn't exist made me quite uneasy.

Until I received several texts from Him:

I want you on your knees when you get home.
Fingers on your clit.
Then call me.

I breathed a sigh of relief. He was thinking of me and would reach out to control me soon. His words would wrap around me and keep me safe until I could see him. I texted him back "yes, Sir."

In a moment, another barrage of messages came through:

You are in so much trouble when I see you next.
Just wait until I get my hands on you.
You are going to get the spanking of a lifetime.

I shivered with delight. I wasn't in trouble for anything, but he was warning me that his desire was growing, that he would need to hurt me when he finally saw me.

Then the final message came through:

"Don't forget that I own you."

That was all I needed. I looked around the restaurant, feeling a surge of pride. I am owned, I thought to myself over and over again. I am owned. How do all of these people go through life without this feeling? Weren't they lost, all on their own? I felt so lucky at that moment to be owned by Him, to be under his control. I felt fortunate that I had found him, that my long time in the wilderness, searching for that missing piece, was over. I felt safe and secure and in my place. My submission was with me all the time, as long as I could remember.

"Romantic messages?," my friend asked.

"Oh yes, he is so romantic," I sighed wistfully and smiled quietly to myself.


Little Girl said...

I love it when I stumble across something I feel I could have written myself.. L O V E it... The final message you received... that is one of my personal favorites from my Sir. I'm glad yours sent the texts to you and was able to snap you back into your place! Its a lovely feeling, isn't it?

Kitten said...

I started writing so I wouldn't feel so alone. Finding your post (the one I commented on) really makes me feel like I'm not the only one learning to manage these feelings.

And the text was lovely. I think of it often :-)


HisGirl said...

Daddy does that as well, feels good doesn't it? I know how connected it can make you feel. How lovely that He thinks of you so often. How do they always seem to know?
-His girl