I knelt on the bathroom floor, naked and shaking in the darkness. I started to sob, crouching there on my hands and knees, alone. I couldn't believe how low I had sunk, how degraded I had become. Look what He had done to me, what I gave him my submission to let him do to me. How had I arrived at this place?
He was choking me, holding my throat tightly as he fucked me hard.
"Tell me you love being choked while I fuck you," he demanded. I couldn't get any words out. When I hesitated, he slapped my face hard. "Tell me, now."
"I love it," I murmured. He slapped me again.
"Louder," he ordered. "Speak up when you're talking to me."
"I love it," I sobbed.
I was still sniffling when he had me suck his cock. He choked me on it again and again, making my eyes water and my nose run even more. I was having trouble breathing and needed a tissue.
"May I please get a tissue?" I knew enough by now to ask for permission.
"No, keep sucking it," and he pushed my head back down. I couldn't believe that he said no because he never had before.
After a few minutes of sucking his cock with his hand on the back of my head, he let me up to get a tissue. He let me walk there.
But when I got to the bathroom, I heard him call out to me. "Crawl back in here to me."
That's how I ended up crouched on the bathroom floor, faced with the prospect of crawling back to him. I don't know what it was about crawling that seemed impossible to me at that moment. I just felt like it was too much, too degrading, too much to ask of me. We had reached a plateau in my submission some time ago and I had been fine for weeks, but suddenly we were climbing again. The climb was steep and I wasn't sure I could make it.
I knelt there, naked and cold, all alone. But what choice did I have? This was submission, there was no choice for me today. I crawled back to him and faced what I had coming to me.