Breaking, Part II

He said that he would break me a long time ago. He said it in the beginning, before I knew what that even meant. As he wore me down and crossed my limits, I felt things breaking inside of me and I started to grow afraid. I thought that he'd be wearing me down, exposing cracks in my psyche, reducing me to nothing. To me, breaking was a negative.

It made me worry about where we were going. If he broke me and broke me, there'd be a point where there'd be nothing left. I'd become a shell of myself. If there was no bottom to this, I'd just keep being reduced until I ceased to exist. The further down we went, the more apprehensive I became.

But then I realized - it was like an epiphany - that what he was doing wasn't breaking me down at all. He was breaking parts of me away, stripping all of the impurities, distilling me down to my very essence. All of the anxiety, all of the worry, all of the grasping for control - he stripped all of that away.

He left me clean and empty and pure. I am all shiny and new for him. He can fill me up with his thoughts, his desires. I am open and free, waiting patiently for him.

It is a whole new outlook - a positive outlook - and it is undoubtedly the right one. This is one based in my trust of him. It is the outlook he wanted me to have from the start. I am so proud that I have finally arrived here, even though the journey has been difficult. After all the struggle, I go forward with peace in my heart and a wonderful sense of clarity. I am strong and quiet. My eyes are wide open.


Anonymous said...

Excellent Kitten,
You have it right, in a few years your owner will be so proud and think, look what we did together! It's really beautiful even from afar.... Tex

Kitten said...

Thanks, Tex. Things are pretty beautiful from this end as well :-)