Did I know, 18 months ago, where I would be today? As I looked around at my home, at the life I shared with my boyfriend, at our beautiful things? Did I know then that the empty feeling inside me would be filled with so much pain and so much love?
Did I even know that something was wrong 18 months ago? Did I know that not having sex with someone you saw every day was unusual? Did I know that we were strangers living within 20 feet of each other? Did I even know what intimacy or true emotional connection was at that time?
Did I know that I would survive when I left, when I walked out the door and left everything behind? Yes, I did know that. I knew that nothing kept me there and I carried everything I needed with me.
Did I know that I would meet Him when I was on my own, at my most independent? Did I know that I would meet him when I thought I needed someone the least?
Did I know, the moment I saw Him, that my whole life would change? As he walked toward me, smiling, did I know what he would become? What I would become?
He knew. He knew all of it. "I knew the moment I saw you that I would own you. I just knew it. You were the one I was waiting for. I had been waiting for you for so long."