He received some bad news a few days ago, news that would provoke anxiety in anyone. But with him...it set off this tidal wave of anxiety.
I think he'll find his way back in a few days, but the last few days on my end have been so terrible that I've started wondering if I even care what happens to him.
He says that he'll e-mail, but he never does. He'll respond to my e-mails, but his (few and far between) messages are only five words long. He will not call me and he will not answer his phone. He has ignored plans that we had with my family and left me to make excuses for him, even as I know that I shouldn't have to make excuses for him.
I know that this is not about me, but I am still so upset that he has pushed me so far away. He has completely abandoned me and left me with no resources to take care of myself. I feel very vulnerable and very little and very sad without him. I miss him. No girl, let alone a submissive girl, should have to go through this.
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Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.
- Rilke
D/s, from the inside.
This blog contains mature subject matter. Adults only, please.
I always appreciate your comments and e-mails. Thanks for reading!
I always appreciate your comments and e-mails. Thanks for reading!
About Me
- Kitten
- I am a submissive girl who loves to be dominated by her very devious, and sometimes gentle, man.
Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.
- Rilke
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5 comments:
the way out is through...hang in there
"the last few days on my end have been so terrible that I've started wondering if I even care what happens to him."
Wow Kitten, those are harsh words. Does he know you feel this way? And if you truly didn't care, would you have even written this post? Hope things work out for you both!!
*gg*
Carly
Kitten,
It must be hard for you to be shut out when he is stressed. I don't know if this is common in a D/s relationship or not. I wonder if he avoids the relationship when he doens't have the energy to dominate. It must be hard to be a dominant and in a vulnerable place in his life.
Hang in there!
-Jess
i've had a couple of similar things with my Master, where things got suddenly and unexpectedly bad on His end and He dropped out of my life for a while. It is awful and hard and you have my sympathies. Each time it's happened with us (and it's just been a couple, and only for a few days each time) we've been able to recover, but it wasn't easy to get past those feelings of abandonment, even as i knew He had important things to deal with and i could best serve Him by giving Him the space He needed.
*hugs*
Hnag in there! Your realtionship sounds amasing, its like, inspiring! Please dont ever take your blog down! I guess this might be one of thouse "doms are human too" moments, but he shouldnt have left you hanging. and he should have to win your submission back after that.
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