He and I are very closely bonded, very connected. We operate in sync, in perfect mental and emotional coordination. It is wonderful and special, truly one of the things that I treasure about my relationship with Him. When it's working, it is the most amazing thing that I have ever experienced. But when it's not...well, that's another story.
Recently, we went through such a period. Family events, a flu bug that I caught, a cold that he caught, and a holiday apart all came back to back to back and kept us physically apart. Of course, the physical absence is significant for us. Going a couple of weeks without feeling his hands on my neck or without kneeling in front of him made me feel like I had come completely unmoored. But it was the added mental separation that killed us. We were both feeling lousy and started getting on each other's nerves. Petty jealousies came out and tempers flared. I lost all sense of my place and he didn't have the time or the opportunity to discipline me. My submission was completely gone - it had abandoned me. I knew that his control was missing but I had no way to put it back in place. I'm not extremely needy as submissives go, but this period of alienation was driving me to desperation.
With no end in sight for another few weeks, we were finally able to steal away two hours together. It was an extremely welcome respite from everything else, but it didn't even start to scratch the itch. We clung to each other desperately, knowing that we would have to part soon. He made me come and come, but each time only made me need him more.
During a brief lull, I told him that I had been fantasizing about increasing violent spankings during our time apart. I needed him to lay into me. I asked him to please, please spank me. I needed it to ground me, to connect us during this very brief time together.
He rolled me over and softly ordered me to get across his knee. He patted his lap and stretched me over it. He caressed my ass cheeks slowly, whispering into my hair, "Is this what you need, Kitten? You need me to hurt you, spank you until your ass is all red?"
"Yes," I sighed, feeling safe and settled for the first time in weeks. I couldn't wait to show him how much I could take for him.
After a few slow warm-up spanks, he started to sound different - his voice was louder, deeper. He ordered me onto all fours with that sadistic edge in his voice. He told me to close my eyes while he went off in search of something. He came back and braced his left hand against my neck. I dropped my head and tilted my ass up to his right hand. He paused. I waited.
He brought the leather strap down hard across my right ass cheek and pulled it back quickly - a stinging blow. I gasped, sighed, moaned, sobbed all at once in relief. I was home.
He continued, alternating fast series of small blows with harder, glancing blows interspersed with pregnant pauses. My head was swimming with pain and exhilaration. After a time, all I could feel was his left hand against my neck, resting there softly. The strap kept falling. I was inside the pain, curled up deep within it. The pain was all around me, pressing in at me. I was the pain. I was only pain.
He put his head down on my back. We were both panting, exhausted. He murmured, "Kitten, you are such a good girl. You're my good little girl." He reached back to feel my dripping pussy. The wetness was running down my legs. He pulled me over him and pushed my head down onto his cock. I sucked at it purely by instinct, slowly taking his hard cock deep into my mouth. I was focused on looking up at his face while I sucked on him. He was staring down at me with the most intense look in his eyes.
Just as he came, he reached out his hand to me. I rested my head on his thigh, holding his hand in both of mine. I closed my eyes.