Breaking

My bedroom was dark and completely quiet. The streetlight filtered in through the gauzy curtains and fell across the bed. We lay still, limbs intertwined, sighing in our sleep.

I turned away from Him and he laid his arm over my hip. He nuzzled my neck with his face and took a deep breath.

"I think it's time," he whispered.

"Hmm?," I murmured sleepily. "Time for what?"

"For the next step, little Kitten." I was completely awake now. I tensed against him.

"What's the next step?," I whispered quickly, almost afraid to know.

"Kitten, you know that I usually hold back when I'm with you. You can feel it when I'm beating you, can't you?"

I thought for a moment. Yes, I must have known somewhere inside me that he could beat me harder if he chose to. He's a powerful man, one I wouldn't want to tangle with in a bar fight. Of course, he could kill me if he let go and gave me everything he has. I nodded.

"I've held back because I didn't think you were ready yet. I was afraid that I would hurt you more than you could handle. I've been gentle with you. But now I think it's time to cross that line." I held my breath and tried to calm the tremble in my hands that had crept up unexpectedly. "I haven't broken you, really broken your body or your spirit yet, even though I could, because you weren't ready. But now...," he trailed off.

"Now what?," I asked, my eyes wide in the dark.

"Now...you're going away soon and things have been so intense lately. I think you're ready to be broken. I think that you need it now."

I didn't know what to say, so I stayed silent. My mind was a blur of thoughts - what would this entail? Just more physical punishment? Or more of that mental power that he holds over me? - and I didn't respond. He pulled on the back of my hair and brought me sharply back to the conversation.

"Is that something you want, Kitten?"

"Yes," I said quickly. My answer surprised even me. But there's no going backward with Him. We always move forward at his pace, we always move move move.

"Are you sure? You're going to be a shattered little girl, on the floor, bleeding and crying before I'm done with you."

I shuddered. I could see myself on the floor with him standing over me. I could feel the emotion of being broken inside by his dominance. I knew that it was my future.

"You're going to have to ask me for it. I need to know that you're completely ready. You'll have to beg me." I nodded, lulled into a trance by his beautiful deep voice. "When it's time, I'll ask you if you want to be broken and you'll have to beg me. I need to know that you're sure."

"Yes, I will," I whispered. What had I gotten myself into, I wondered? At the same, I was so happy that he was planning this for me, that he had a plan for my training and my development. He was thinking of me, plotting, creating.

He fell asleep shortly after that. I got up and sat by the window in the dining room, the one with the large windowsill and the beautiful view of the moonlit park. I wrapped myself in my blanket and hugged knees to my chest. I shook with the cold and the anticipation. The whole world was silent. I listened to him breathing steadily in the other room and I waited.