Happiness

Things have been particularly intense around here lately. I know that he is making a concerted attack on my submission at this time. We are both incredibly nervous about my upcoming absence, and that anxiety is taking the form of increased control and more rough treatment from Him.

I accept these tests of my submission, even as I worry about my ability to bear up under the pressure. I am very stressed at work, there are difficulties with the health of a family member and I have much to do to get ready for my trip. All of that is bearing down on me while he is doing the same.

But with all of this pressure, some of the happier, easier moments have been lost in the shuffle. I have overlooked the late night we spent at the diner, giggling over our grilled cheese sandwiches. Or the nights that he has tucked me into bed with a sweet kiss and my favorite stuffed animal. Or the lazy Sunday morning that we spent in bed talking about the first time we met and the first time we made love.

With all of his cruelty have come sweet moments of reflection and repose. For every blow there is a soft kiss on my cheek. And for every moment of fear, my love for him grows and grows.

We will come back to balance soon and these trying times will end, I am sure of it. I trust him to lead us there out of the darkness.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kitten,
Has he used a cane on you yet? Just curious if it was only a belt he had beaten you with. Thanks, and good luck preparing for your trip.
Tex

otownsubkitty said...

My sweet Kitten,

I hope that you are able to cherish those difficult times as well as the good, as it has been my experience that the difficult times make those sweet, wonderful moments all the more precious.

Things will balance themselves again soon. My heart and thoughts are with you both during this trying time. In the meantime, thanks for sharing both hard and gentle times with us.

kitty

Kitten said...

Tex: No, he hasn't used a cane yet. *shivers*

kitty: I try to cherish all the time that I have with Him, even those times that aren't so easy to handle. Thanks for your kind words.

-Kitten